Bullied From The Pulpit

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." --John 10:27 

One thing that has helped me in life is something everyone has. It is that wonderful gift of a sense of hearing. When I cross a busy street, I can hear traffic coming. I can hear a car honking at me if my dull mind wanders while I am driving and would almost run an unfortunate soul off the road. I can hear the wail of a siren from an approaching fire engine, telling me to pull to the side of the road and let it pass.

I can also hear soft, sweet, loving words of my wife telling me that she loves me. I can hear great music that inspires me, or music that empathizes with whatever mood I am in at the time. I can recognize the voice of an old friend I have known for years at the other end of the receiver when I answer the phone. Yes, I like my sense of hearing. It serves me well.

Recently, in the past few years I have developed a very keen sense of hearing of a different sort. I learned how to turn up the ears on my heart. I have learned how to recognize the voice of my loving Father God guiding me, encouraging me, reassuring me as I go through life.

There is no mistaking it. Every time I hear His voice, I walk away feeling so right and so good, even when the things He has to tell me are hard to hear. I still know, when I walk away, I feel loved and I know that I spoke with God.

I remember when I was a child, not quite sure of the age, I went to visit a ranch where they tended sheep. I ran out into the sheep fold to try to pet one and they ran from me. I tried everything my child's mind could think of. I even called to the sheep, still they ran from me. I asked the ranch owner why the sheep ran from me. All I wanted to do was pet them. He told me that they didn't know me and were afraid of my voice.

He walked out into the pasture and called to them and they came running. Under his loving protection, they felt safe enough to allow me to approach and I could finally run my grubby hands all over their soft wool.

Today in many churches I hear another voice, often times that is not my Shepherds voice. I hear another voice, where, on instinct I want to run and hide, much like the sheep in my childhood memoir.

I remember sitting in a church service recently, being told that those who didn't stand up and speak out or vote against a bill that allowed insurance arrangements for homosexual partners were weenies. My stomach tightened as I knew that what I was hearing was the voice of a bully, a stranger, not the voice of my loving Father.

When I protested what took place afterward with the people I went to church with, they unanimously took the pastors side and i felt like I was being attacked for protesting the bullying that took place. After the debate was over, I felt terrible inside. I felt beaten. I felt bullied. I felt ganged up on. I did not sense my Shepherds voice in any of what took place that day. I knew that there was no love in what was said.

Today I think of many like services I sat in on, where the pastor was pushing the people to do something, using insults, threats and such. Whether it was putting money in the offering plate, or how I should vote, or if I was out there witnessing for Jesus enough, it was delivered in such a voice, and in such a way that made me feel pretty lousy afterward.

Some pastors cant say enough about how wretched of a sinner I am and that I deserve to go to hell. Even after I was saved and submitted my heart to my Father God, I am still reminded of the horrific sins I did before and can potentially do. I cant be trusted to live my life without sinning, and if I do, there is a God who is angry at me, disappointed with me, or who will cut me off altogether.

Over the years I have developed a very sharp sense of hearing and I can know instantly my Shepherds voice without hesitating. And also, instantly, I can know the abusive voice of the bully, or as Jesus puts it, the wolves in sheep's clothing.

And this, dear reader, is how I know His voice and I want to impart my secret to you, so never again will you wonder if you hear God or not.

God will never say anything to belittle or demean His children. Even in rebuke and discipline, love is felt and known. God will always leave us feeling valuable and deeply loved as His only interest is in us living our lives and living them well. He will always push us towards abundant life that can be enjoyed without regret, harassment, manipulation or bullying.

Here is a safe rule of thumb to go by. If I sit in church and hear the pastor say something that I wouldnt say to my own spouse or someone I deeply love (like those of you who have children, imagine saying it to your kid) then chances are, it isnt our loving Father speaking at that moment. With this rule in mind, go back over your church visits and your knowledge of God that you received. Think about what you believe about God. Would you act towards your children, spouse, or best friends the way you believe God acts or feels about you?

I remember feeling mortified that last time I sat in church. I wanted so badly to get up and scream at the pastor saying "That is not my Fathers voice speaking!" But of course I didn't for obvious reasons. Dear reader, you don't have to put up with being bullied in churches. You don't have to sit there and take it. You can leave and retreat into your Fathers loving arms. God doesn't need a church facility to communicate to you. He is smart enough to speak to you in such a way that you know it is Him and when you walk away from that, you wont be the same because you know you are deeply loved and valued.