Coffee Shop Faith

"And without faith, it is impossible to please Him. For he who comes to God, must believe that He is, and that He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

For years I have professed to be a Christian. For years I professed to have faith in God. I sat at many lunches and dinners and coffee shops with friends pouring over the details of theology and how great God is. But that is where it stayed. It was talk. That is all it was.

Today if you go into any church building and ask if the average Christian believes in God they will answer with a resounding yes and amen and probably give you a weird look like that was a stupid question to ask.

They sit in services listening to pastors lecture them on the Bible, and all things spiritual and things of God. They get the Holy Ghost goosebumps, get emotional at the benediction song, they go to the altar call and vow to be better Christians and vow to have a stronger faith in God. They get "prayed up" by the pastoral staff awaiting them at the front. They leave the building on an emotional high.

The next day they go to work for a faulty financial system worrying about lay-offs, overdue bills, the IRS, and the ever rising costs of health insurance. The idea of a Father who loves them deeply and will provide for them and hold them through anything has been left at the church building door, waiting for them to pick it up the following week, or perhaps Wednesday night.

Recently, I have packed up my entire life and shut it down. I picked up and moved to a completely new city in a completely new state with nothing but a slim bank account and a head filled with the dreams that Father God Himself put there. Anyone would be daunted.

What fueled me? What motivated me? What made me believe that yes, I can do what it is that I am about to do? There was a beautiful wife next to me in that car on the long road trip up who gazed so deeply into my eyes with a look that said, without saying, "I believe in you."

What shuts me down? What drives me into despair? When I meet those who tell me that for whatever reason that my dreams are ridiculous, unattainable, or they doubt my ability. In short, their lack of belief.

I can sit in coffee shops, I can write a hundred blogs, I can preach behind a pulpit about how much I believe that God loves me, that God is my Father and my provider and sustainer. But as long as I don't act like it, live like it, and simply say "Lord I believe" it stays only in the coffee shop in the realm of talk and idle fancy.

No one is afraid to entertain romantic ideas of a God who loves them. No one is afraid to "yes and amen" the scripture verses that tell us of His great power and His riches of mercy and grace for the lives we live. We swoon over how spiritual the sounds of Jesus' teachings of sparrows and lilies of the field and how we are not to worry about tomorrow or provisions.

But what is it to actually live and act like such things are true? Now that is scary. That is what separates the sheep from the goats. What is it to REALLY cast all of our cares on Him, knowing that He cares for us? What is it really to jump off of the cliff and free fall, knowing that He will catch us in His loving arms?

Can you imagine if I got home one day to my wife who tells me what she wants from me, what she wants me to do, and then tells me that she really doesn't think I can do it and really doesn't believe I will? Can you imagine how anyone would feel having their very nature, integrity and ability called into strict scrutiny and disbelief?

That is how God feels. He tells us He will love us and provide for us and care for us. We then pray and somehow feel we have to remind Him of that very thing or He simply won't pull through. WE approach Him with doubt, thinking that in the end, when things really matter, it is all about our ability to fight and provide. It is back to the dog-eat-dog rat race that we so look to to care for us. It is all back to us fighting for that scrap of meat to win the bread to bring home one more day. The sweat, the stress, and the pressures of balancing checkbooks overwhelms us as though we are orphans. We live as though we have no Father. We live as though He simply isn't there and won't pull through.

I wonder if our words and beautiful religious slogans of faith, when put to the test in the real world would expose us as atheists and hypocrites?

In His journey on the earth, Jesus ran into people that demanded proof or wouldn't believe in Him. The Bible tells us of two incidents where Jesus refrained from performing miracles because of the lack of belief. One story spoke of a town who demanded signs. In that town, Jesus called them a wicked and perverse generation and gave them none.

The other story spoke of a similar town where Jesus simply didn't perform miracles because they simply didn't believe in Him.

When we live as though there is no loving Father to care for us, when we live as if we have to fight or die, sink or swim, we live as atheists and it is better we don't speak the name of Jesus in our conversations at all. It is better that we don't even bother to read our Bible or attend church services. We are better off sitting in fear and uncertainty like any good atheist.

It is no wonder Jesus said "They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

Well, dear reader, I am at a place in my life where my words and discussions over coffee with friends and such are coming to an end. I am at a place where I decided to test everything I have learned. My life came to a grinding halt to begin something completely different. I simply let go and let myself free fall, allowing Father the chance to catch me. Some think me insane. Those naysayers who don't believe can rob me of that drive if I let them. But I feed from the belief my wife, the crown jewel of my life pours into me.

I think how fortunate I am to have such a wife. Many men suffer under women who simply don't believe in them and shoot them down. Women who nag and try to control things because of their lack of faith.

So dear reader. Where does our faith take us? Is it simply for forums, discussion boards, blogs and coffee shop talks with friends? Or do we actually live as though we have a Father who loves us? What do you believe?