Suffering does not equal God's disapproval

Today I have had a break through, call it revelation call it insight only it didn't come just today it has taken years to manifest and become my own truth. I have been taught all my life that suffering and pain comes from a result of sin, rebellion, some form or fashion you have displeased God. So you see it as punishment and rejection even abandonment. This is a man made doctrine that has hurt so many people including myself it has caused people to back slide, resurrect and build God substitutes neatly placed in order to cover all our bases because Jesus has left the building! Nothing could be farther from the truth. He never leaves you not even in your darkest moment or worse sin He is all up in your life you can't make Him take His hands off of you, no one can pluck you from His hand, not even you! 

Suffering, pain and even bad circumstances can mean the opposite. It means that one day you uttered a prayer "Jesus I want to Know you" and your heart was sincere crying out from your inner most parts to know the Lord and experience him. He heard you, and He has not forgotten but has kept that sacred cry as if in a velvet box that he treasures and holds dear. You on the other hand may have forgotten or when you do remember think "So much for that look where that got me" Well it has carried you far, farther than you see at first. 

We see people drop out of our lives like flies, ministry dries up like a draught, money isn't there, people you counted on have abandoned you or worse betrayed you in some way, rejection seems to be your theme song! Did you not say" Jesus be my everything, be my source, be in me and me in you and let that be enough" Would that explain at least in part why all your idols have fallen, why every crutch and everything you trusted to keep you propped up gave way? Why all your God substitutes have failed you and all your lovers mean nothing and have left you empty? 

What if.......... this is the highest love, the only way for you to really KNOW HIM......... What if you find He was there all along and still is, what if you find when the sheep scattered and left you naked and broken alone, and looked upon your shame shaking their heads .That when you get the strength to look up you see He is still there looking at you in a squatted position at eye level waiting and when your eyes meet you see His all consuming love embracing your worse nightmare and lifts you from the dust to a better way of thinking and believing about yourself and everything you thought you knew. Would it be worth it then? Would you see it as rejection, abandonment and displeasure then or would you embrace a new revelation of His love for you and thank Him for every lonely, cold day? Would you see that your worse suffering is evidence of His greatest love for you? 

When you pass through the waters they will not over take you, when you go through the fire it will not burn you up nor will you smell of it's presence, no evidence will remain for I AM WITH YOU>>> You will know me, you will see me, and you will understand and count it all as nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in you and to you>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Today I gave my heart and life to Jesus at a deeper level, I chose love today over fear over rejection over self made armor and self preservation, over guilt, shame, loneliness, abandonment and rejection....... KNOWING...... There will be more.......... But choosing Love's way, Love's walk, my heart will be His heart, my life will be His life, I will love and embrace life even with it's suffering and pain , why? Because he did, because he has, and because I am not above my master that I should expect better than he got or feel entitled to a life of ease Jesus did not have a life of ease, nor did He ever promise us that.. If He has suffered for me so that I can come out whole than I can too...... WHY ME? WHY NOT ME? I thank the Lord for where I am, for everything I've been through, or will go through because He loves me and that is enough!