Nov 18, 2009
The Submissive Wife
Recently in my new marriage I found myself having to lay down the law for my wife. Thats right. She needs to recognize my authority and do what I tell her. She has to sit in silence and not interrupt me, question me, challenge me or speak any opinion of her own. Our conversations are to be one sided. I will tell her more of a monologue of what is on my mind and what she needs to do, and then move on with my life, expecting her to be the good, obedient wife. She is not allowed to express herself in any real tangible way during her time spent with me, unless I direct it and tell her how to do it and when.
She has to give me a certain amount of money each week or I wont provide for her and take care of her needs. I want her to make her entire life revolve around me and her entire week needs to be planned around intimacy with me once a week at least. Even when she is not feeling well, she needs to be there. I lead and direct our times of intimacy and it has to follow my prescribed format, and cannot deviate. I told her this the other day and of course you may guess that she might have had a problem with it, but I didnt let her object to me because she would be out of order.
Can you imagine marriages run like that? (I am sure there are some like that out there.) But think for a moment, dear reader, this is exactly how the Bride of Christ, His CHURCH is treated every week. Somewhere we have the impression that the Bride of Christ is to be silent, submissive, obedient, never talk back, never express herself in the public meeting and behave herself! I can assure you that unless my wife were seriously mentally ill, my marriage would be short lived if I conducted myself the way many people believe Christ treats the church.
As I delve into Church history and as I learn the roots of who we once were, more and more I see the vision of a bride in full wedding dress, bound and gagged, and tied to a seat. What I am seeing today is almost directly opposite of what God has intended for His bride.
One of the things I love about my wife is that she is so vibrantly creative. It is one of my favorite things about her. I insist that she brings that out and expresses herself like that. I expect it from her. Can you imagine if I stifled that and told her that it would be inappropriate for her to express herself but that she was supposed to sit and take all of my expression?
The problem with a fully functioning, expressive bride is that she is not controllable. All one can do is sit back and be awe-struck at her beauty. The things we cannot control are the things that scare us and make us uncomfortable. They are wild. They are untamed. They are unmanageable by human kind.
I have found there to be only one good leader of wild things. And He does a far greater job than any clergy behind a pulpit. A church out of the control of men is a church that is dangerous, a church that is wild, a church that is vibrant and alive. A church that only answers to God himself is a threat to all who would hunger for power. It is no wonder that Christians seeking freedom throughout the centuries were met with strong persecution and even death!
by David Backus
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