Letter from Yolanda

Darin, I appreciate the podcast you guys did on Michael Jackson. I have to admit I was kinda' nervous when I saw the topic because I loved Michael and was afraid of what was going to be said.

I'm 41 and as a teeny bopper I just knew I was going to marry him. You couldn't tell me anything different and if you tried I would have called YOU the delusional one.

Until Michael died, I totally forgot about how much he affected my life and how much he inspired me. He was a true heart man to the fullest. He loved people, especially children. After the allegations, he never blamed or lashed out at the boy who accused him. In one video Michael actually defended the boy. Even after it came out that the boy's father and step-father devised the whole scheme for money.

Here's a glimpse into the man's heart:

1996 Deposition:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8_JhGAGZLE

He never skips a beat when holding this crazy fan who risked his life to be near Michael:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG-iuJAV-xc&feature=related

Before I go I wanted to let you know that I am not the same person since you, Aimee, Kim and Brian entered my life via the web. I'm not just talking about how you've influenced my views about God, the church, and humanity. That's all fine and wonderful but have you any idea how much those views influence everything we do?

Good God!! Let me tell you a little story.

I'm a freelance screenwriter. Was always okay at it. Meh... I studied my craft and became... competent. I've been at it for about 8 years now. Had some successes but more non-successes. You're a writer. You know.

Last year I was determined to write a kick-ass pilot script and enter it in a competition. Up to that point when I was in the IC and after I got saved, everything I wrote was churchy, preachy and sounded like something Kirk Cameron would have Hallelujah endorsed. Not cool. Not cool. Not cool.

My scripts started to suck BIG TIME. And the fact that I was trying to sneak in bible passages while alluding to Jesus in every other character didn't help any. So sneaky and clever was I by using the Amplified or Contemporary bibles, trying to make this strong, all-powerful message go down a little easier for the wretched, unsaved.

Oh, boy.

The worst part is when nobody responded to my scripts or even gave negative feedback, I convinced myself that the world, most of all Hollywood, didn't get my stuff because:

1) they liked darkness more than light,
2) were like their father the devil,
3) were afraid to let me in because they knew the transfer of wealth from the wicked (them) to righteous Christians (me/us) was in motion, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It was actually my conclusion that Steven Spielberg was afraid of the power of God in my Spirit-inspired words!

Okay - I admit, THAT was delusional. Especially the part about Spielberg.

The simple truth is, for the most part, the powers that be in Hollywood like good writing over bad. Seems easy to understand now but back then...I wasn't hearing it.

But back to my after school-like inspirational story that will make you light a candle and sway with ooh's and aah's:

With my newfound freedom I wrote a pilot script about a woman and her group of friends who are emerging from the IC. It's like Sex and The City but instead of sex being the topic du jour, these bad-ass chicks (not whore, whores - but Holy Whores (I kid, I think)) are talking about God and the church, saying, proposing and contemplating some outrageous (in a good way) Darin-ish/Free Believery-like things. They don't do it in a shock jock style but in a real, human way that I think people will get. Which is what I think you guys do.

Well, my script placed 3rd in the competition. Yes, I know what you're thinking.

I was robbed!!

My sentiments exactly. Hmph!

Actually, it only took a couple of weeks to go from initial concept to finished script. Could it be that living from the heart IS the easy yoke that Jesus spoke about? Hmm.....that could be a story line in episode 4 if this thing ever actually makes it to television!

It's not just this script though. It's all my work that's now reflecting and shouting what I KNOW to be the truth: 1) God is love and 2) Being natural (from the heart) is a GOOD thing.

Why is it that the church sees anything that's ‘in the natural' as disgusting and vile? God, they're twisted.

I can honestly say that my scripts are...good, and dare I say...can soon be great.

Not just because I think I ‘get' God and the meaning of life but because I now work and write from the same place which Michael Jackson sang, dance and wrote: the heart.

(Isn't it impressive how I brought it back full circle to Michael?)

I'm learning that what we do from there can never be denied. Gosh, Michael is a testament to that.

People will say whatever they want about the man himself, but the tail end of their sentences and sentiments is always the same: he was talented like no other. And that is a result of just ‘being' from the heart.

Damn, that's always been the secret, hasn't it?

Excuse my couple of damns and asses. I was unnaturally and robotically uber-proper and sweet lipped for years. I'm making up for it - at least until it's out of my system.

But really, look at those two short videos (both around 3 min. each). I think they reflect the fullness of Michael's humanity and his heart and of God's heart.

Wow, I'm glad I got up the nerve to write this.

Exhaling and Moonwalking,

Yolanda