Oct 07, 2011
Being Real Vs Being the Real You
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The statement made about, people think that being mean, means being real. It triggered what my family has been going through for 2 yrs now. Being leaders in a Vineyard for 12 yrs our children were being drowned in that world. They are now all teenagers and absolutely amazing children! All 3 of deeply desire to be completely free from the image of Christianity that they were raised in. With that sometimes come out a very sharp tongue about in what they think is being real versus all the fake that they lived, saw and see with those that are in our community. I think sometimes it is part of the process of breaking free but is only healthy if it is a process of working through. We have allowed ourselves this process. It has only been two years and it is still fresh for us because of the small community we live in. This is going to be a great dinner subject!! To help this family move from what we may have perceived as "being real" to truly "BEING REAL"!!!!! Thanks Again!
Love this. The last church I attended promoted itself as being "real" and "authentic", and those two words were used over and over in nearly every sermon. Unfortunately the place was just as fake and soulless as any other.
And I totally get the part about loving who you are. I've finally gotten to the place where I know I'm an amazing person, and I genuinely love and enjoy the things that come out of my mind and my heart. It's not arrogance; it's confidence, and it's an awesome (albeit lonely) way to live.
I have lived in such a fake world for so long. Sometimes I still don't know what I really think or what my opinion is until later after I've thought about it for a while. We had breakfast with friends from my former world yesterday, and I realized that I like the new me and I had a blast being me. When you talked about leaving family, I totally believe that was and still is a necessary component for me. I have come to the place where I can be myself, but I know they don't like to being around me, because I'm not being who they think I should be. Love it!!!
I turned 50 this year. I don't what it is about turning this age and going through what amounts to a midlife crisis, but fake isn't sustainable any longer. All those feelings I stuffed and denied in order to be an obedient follower of Christ are stronger than ever. It would have better if I had been honest with myself when I was younger. But fear kept me contained and compliant. I regret giving away so much of my personal power at such a young age before I even had I chance to know myself. The pitfalls of becoming a born-again christian at age 13 years!
I'm so here,...have come a long ways over the past few years in embracing myself, and currently expanding and progressing in the "Honesty Department".
It's so true about families being those threats to yourself true self. Mine is not so much this way, but my husbands is the epitome of it. I don't think ANY of them really know him..especially his Dad. They're constantly (even since we've escaped them - moving to another state) trying to tell him what to do, discourage him from doing things he's trying to do, etc. They are currently trying to tell us we're ruining our children by homeschooling them..ARGH!
Anyway,.enough of that! But thanks for talking about this, it's given me much food for thought..very timely discussion for where I am at.
lots of food for thought... guard your heart... great picture of the body being designed to guard ones heart.
For my surrounding I´m the lost sheep (for some the black sheep).I stopped going to church, I don´t pray (at least not the way I used to), I´m asking questions everyone seems to know the answer but for me it seems liked putting square blocks in round holes. My husband wants our kids to go to church to learn about God! Well so far they are scared to death because they don´t want to end in the lake of fire... good job! (sarcasm!)
Listening to these last podcasts I could feel how my heart started breathing again and getting a glimpse of freedom (from what I don´t know yet) and at the same time how I suffocate again when I try to explain that to the people around me. I´m still so scared of God myself (the one I used to know) that the thought God likes me the way I am is still far away.
Well, trying to be the real me and getting to know the real God
The problem with the heart is that though the body might protect it from physical harm it doesnt do a great job from the other kind of harm that unfortunately gets through to it...I am coming to understand that a heart that discovers who they were meant to be is a stronger heart as it knows who it is and therefore it isnt easily swayed to pretend and be something else. To be REAL is to be the person you have discovered you are thus far...self discovery is a journey so there is no point in being something you have yet to discover instead of being what you know.
Great post btw :=))
Some commie dude (the old guy with the beard) once wrote that religion is the opiate of the people. Did this guy have cow pies for brains? Give me narcotics over religion any day. Just being real.
I totally agree with this message and it makes complete sense to me. The only thing is having confidence and finding value in myself. I seem to have it for a few minutes at a time then it just gets pulled out from under me. I have listened to this over and over the past couple days in hopes something makes clicks in my brain, because its so true and I want to be live like this but I just don't know how to get there it seems. Love this podcast!!!
This is definitely a challenge...being comfortable in my own skin. I get what you're saying Tristan...it comes and goes for me too. The more I let go of the need for acceptance and value from others, embracing myself becomes easier. I have to stay on top of the thoughts that want to diminish my confidence...if I don't I can go into a downward spiral pretty quickly. I have lived so much of my life not wanting to be me...the concept of loving myself has s-l-o-w-l-y begun to seep into my heart since realizing how much God really does love me.
This is SO beautiful. I am sciving off 'church' today because I would rather spend time listening to Darin's podcasts! I'm feelng so raw and wounded that I need time out from 'church' and I am finding Darin's ramblings so refreshing and deeply healing. I love the description of your heart being so special that God put a rib 'cage' around it for protection. Years ago I suffered an emotional breakdown and saw a London Harley Street Heart Surgeon whose first advice was to separate myself from any people who had a negative effect on me, including family and church members. I was given 'sleep' therapy with tranquilisers to give my body a chance to heal. It has taken years to recover. We moved house so we could be free, and found a church which seemed 'real' and 'free.' However, I now find myself writing this having been deeply and profoundly hurt by this church I have been wholly committed to for the past 8 years. It is so painful. Thank God for Darin's insight and understanding.