Thanks for the encouragement. It really does mean the world to me.
After a long break I have started listening to the podcasts again and enjoying them. I'm at the stage where having found traditional understandings of Christianity perplexing I've yet to move on to finding a relational faith. Initially it was confusing and frightening but lately I'm accepting that it is what it is. Being honest, even though it may be profoundly uncomfortable, is a good place to be.
I think the key is in giving up the search for what they told you, you could have. Once the slate of expectations is clear you can build something totally unique with Him. You just can't compare it to their model because their model is a fabricated lie.
The last 3 minute new ending is really cool.