MIDWEEK - The Controlling Force of Fear
Darin and Aimee talk about how much of our lives are controlled and dictated by fear. When we take an honest look at our lives and what drives our decisions and reactions to things it is amazing how much fear plays a dominating role. For many of us it has become the driving force behind everything we do. Acknowledging and identifying our fears is more than half the battle, because we rarely even know that it is fear that is controlling us. Once we are able to locate our fear and acknowledge it; freedom is just around the corner. The Free Believer life is many times a path of “fear detox” where we do nothing but acknowledge what’s driving us and make a conscious decision to go another way. Religion is driven by fear at every turn and for many of us, walking away from that world is like losing an accent. The fear of rejection is the power of religion. If you have stood up and taken a stand for what you believe in, you have already conquered 90% of the fear in your life. The rest is gravy.
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"Religion is driven by fear at every turn and for many of us, walking away from that world is like losing an accent." This podcast is very timely for me. I can really relate to being driven by fear. Fear is like a prison of our own making, isn't it? I've spent most of my life being afraid of various things; it wasn't until the grace message started sinking in that I've been peeking out of that fear prison, and even taking some steps away from it. I have a quote on my Facebook profile I'd like to share: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Isn't there a saying something like, "there's nothing to fear but fear itself?" I remember hearing this when I was a teenager, probably from the 70's TV series, Kung Fu :) Anyway, that saying along with telling myself that "there's always hope!" kept me moving ahead in my life despite fears and insecurities. Now looking back over 35+ years, these little sayings turned out to be true. They cost me nothing. But funny how all the WOF teachings on having faith cost so much, and delivered so little, except fear. Crazy, eh?
You know, come to think of it...I really think it was the holy spirit speaking to my heart that gave such simple little sayings power to affect me so. And there wasn't even a bible verse in sight when I would feel encouraged by those sayings. Incredible...the resilience that God speaks into our own spirits!
what you stated about children is oh so true and i've spent a huge part of my adult life overcoming this innate sense of fear. my experience in organized religion reinforced most of those fears, thank God it's over. when i feel those familiar feelings attempting residence, i quickly ask God where is this coming from? and please take it away, it's not valid, there is no reason to fear. breathing deep helps especially when the heart is racing. to be free of fear is my goal,,, Life as it is in the World creates much fear, i avoid the news casts, Life as it is personally causes me some fear, hopefully this too shall pass. walking through the fear is a challenge, but once the first step is taken, it becomes easier. working on that first step here currently,,,:) thank you Darin for this podcast, very timely and ALL should listen to it. much Love and Respect, Lisabeth
That is a profound truth, that Jesus had to remove people's fear before they could see him for who he was. Fear causes self-focus, removing it allows us to focus on God. Very thought provoking conversation, thanks to both of you :-)
Oooo, the BIG F word :) Fear is every were isn't it? It's in the media, it's in the politics, it's in the advertising, it's in the church. Jesus DID say the words, "Fear not!" alot with people. His words speak to my heart so often. Love and fear cannot exist together. It's not possible. It really is like oil and water. They don't connect. They don't mix. I thought that was really an interesting insight that Darin gave about his prophet friend. He won't even look people in the eye who are fearful. Really interesting. Knowing that he is a person that hears the voice of God, and is pretty clear on the nature of God, that is a really interesting insight. Fear is a HUGE area in my life that kept me from asking questions of anything that I believed in the system. It kept me searching for "right" beliefs and the "right" stand on different issues, so as to be please the Lord. Walking out of fear has been so eye opening. Truly life changing because you can't see God in anything if you fear.
Good words Amy. Brilliant as always.
I don't know how not to fear...
Wendy if you send me your address I'll mail you the Fear Series we have. I'm not saying it will "cure" you, but there are a lot of great things in that series that have helped a lot of people. Let me know.
Wendy..relate to God and people in LOVE and fear will melt away.
Wendy, I think Teri made a good point. Don't try to not fear. Instead focus on God and his love and, the more you begin living in that love, the more fear will be displaced by love. It'll happen so slowly and so naturally that you won't even be aware that it's taking place until you're in a fearful situation and you suddenly realize you're not afraid. Darin's fear series is a great resource to help you focus on that love.
Darin, Aimee, any other freebelievers out there...how should we take some of the doom and gloom prophecies that are getting quite a bit of attention in the Christian world? I've not been much interested in this kind of the thing before but I keep wondering how anyone in this day and age is suppose know what's credible or not? And is all the fear that's being generated by the movie industry and by Christian ministries (focusing on end of the world scenarios) really serving any purpose other than feeding sensationalism? Would God really try to reach us through fear-provoking prophecies or events? I think we bring so much on ourselves and yet call it god's judgement.
I think there's a lot of fear in the largely unknown elements of Christianity: hell, end-times, the rapture and so forth. We get distracted from the here-and-now of life and get carried away with religious prophecies and doom-and-gloom messages - all of which relate to some unknown time frame in the future. There's always going to be some obscure reference in the Bible which some fear-monger preacher is going to seize upon and wield like a weapon of fear and manipulation. I believe we have enough revelation from the Bible in order to live our lives right now - without having to worry about, and over-analyse, supposed future events in which we know hardly anything about. I like what Aimee said in this podcast or another recent one, "How does believing in hell or not affect your everyday life right now?"
F alse E xpectations A ppearing R eal Fear is NOT a fruit of the Spirit. It does not bring us closer to god and His love. It is not what God uses to bring us into relationship. I believe it is a tool to bind and control people but is not godly. Unfortunately we in christianity and even as parents have used fear as a weapon of control. lord forgive us. Deliver us from fear...help us to receive and be mnotovated by love.
I don't think fear serves any useful purpose, either. When I get tied up in knots on the inside, I tell myself that God is only expecting me to handle one day at a time...that I'm only responsible for what's on my plate right now. I was remembering how it was in charismatic circles...so future focussed. Always waiting for the revival to come, for the next visit from the the superstar...waiting for the anointing, the impartation, the confirmation, etc. I never ever want to go back to that kind of thinking again because at the heart of it was the fear that you going to miss out!!! In the meantime one opportunity at a time, one relationship at a time was slipping through your fingers because you were looking for something bigger. Why would ministries even teach such unhealthy mindsets? I hate the crazy making! How many ways can fear be used to manipulate sincere people? I get so mad inside when I think about it and wonder how can we stop this!?
Darin, does your fear series deal with how to use our relationship with God to deal with things of the flesh. I actually look forward to the end. What scares me is living without my wife, and maybe living a long time since I am only 50, that I am going to deal with this grief for a long time. And it hurts man...that scares me. I have one son and I fear that he will end up not liking me and moving far away and never speak to me. Those are my fears. Death, the rapture, whether God loves me or not (he does),wrath....no problem. Dave
You have what I call the "What if" syndrome. I suppose we all have it at one time or another. When you refer to dealing with "this grief," what exactly are you talking about? Do you mean the fear?
I guess I don't know. My wife was the glue that held everything together around here. I am always just crying and thinking about her slow painful death, and how much I miss her, wondering if she was at peace. I can't seem to get past it. My fear is that I am destined to live the pain of that for the remainder of my days. That scares me. Because It hurts so much that I am unable to love others the way I would like because of how I feel. I want to be a blessing to others including my son. I seem to spend most of my time thinking about her. Is that fear?
well, I listened to the podcast again, and you are right Darin. It is the "what if syndrome". "What if this grieving period never ends?" What if this period of my son's teenage years attitude never goes away?" So I am living in fear. Am I sad now still from the death of my wife, yes. Does that mean it will never go away, No. But it probably won't go away if I convince myself it won't. That sound right? To quote Linkin Park (if I may) "I'm my own worst enemy"....tell me what the @#$% is wrong with me" the answer is I am living in fear. Thanks for giving me some time to think about that Darin and Aimee. Much love to you. You guys are such a blessing!
When I heard that statement about not allowing your kids to fear I was a bit shocked. And that fear would be a desicion. Now I do have a very fearful flatmate. And it really can be contagious...over the time. I am really not a fearful person and did never give a thought about the little forest we have to go through in order to get to our house until my flatmates told me how scared they are. I still was not fearful in that situation. But just recently I went to get the mail at two o clock in the morning...it is a few meters and all the lights went out and so it was as dark that you could not see your step. And I was not wearing shoes or socks. I felt a little fear rising (what if there would be thorns or broken glass on the floor...and someone is sitting behind that next bush...?) and I just said: No, I am not going to be afraid! And it worked :-).
Darin, what do you think of ministries and books promoting the "FEAR OF GOD"?
I think, maybe the reason, why your prophetic friend does not want to speak to people in fear is that, when a person in fear hears a prophecy, whatever it speaks about he will turn it against himself. The prophecy will put him even in more fear. For instance if the prohpecy is a warning aimed to deliver you, you will hear it as a God given speach that you are destined to fail. You would change a way to escape into a certainty of failure. Whenever I smell fear from anything prophetic aimed towards myself I immediately stop thinking of it, because I rationally know, that whatever God is trying to tell me, He doesn't want me in fear even for the cost of losing the meaning of the original prohpecy. I rationally decide not to put my faith, my "believe" into that thing, cause fear is always the worst option.
I think that ministries who promote the "fear of God" are terrible because they haven't a clue what the fear of God is. They're just promoting fear, and they're calling it the fear of God.
Darin, as Faith pointed out - how about doing a podcast on end-time fatalistic prophecies? I don't mean a new version of the "upcoming" events, cause there are thousands of versions already. These things are really a great source of fear. It's a very challenging topic, but I believe God is present in these podcasts and something good might come up. Revelation is one of the most fear-worded book in the NT, however John's Gospel and his letters are the best pieces! He understood more than any other apostle that God is Love, all his writings are soaked with love. Maybe this contrast is a good starting point. If Darin (who is also a great Love apostle) was given a terrific looking vision like the Ravelation, I'm sure he'd be able to tell it to us in a way we wouldn't feel fear at all. However, the last book of John is one of the best fear machines in Christianity. What's such a book for? Have we lost the key to understand it without fearing? What about a podcast on end-times, Darin?
I think that's a great idea Myso. We'll have to do that.
Here I go again. I think too much, I know. Are there two kinds of fear - irrational ones to be "chosen" out of (as in the feeling afraid goes away in response to rational thinking) and fear of real things that are faced with good old fashioned courage? We don't talk much about courage these days. People who have done marvellously brave things (say fighting on a war front with their buddies falling around them)usually don't report that they weren't afraid at some point (unless it al happened so fast they did not have time to think)but they chose to go on anyway. Sometimes fear is felt but courage faces it down. I doesn't just go away but is knocked out by the big stick of courage.
I meant "It doesn't just go away . . ." not "I doesn't . . .". What is fear anyway? Anything from undefined foreboding, to worry about things in the imagination, to unpleasant anticipation of something that is REALLY about to happen. If I know my child is about to die, I know for certain I am NOT going to like it and that feeling is a kind of fear. It would motivate me to do anyting I could to prevent that from happening but if I could not stop it I would have to face what happens with courage. I would never like it, or deny its hurt. I mean can fear lose its power in the face of courage, as well as denial? (Nobody will probably read this so long after the podcast anyway, so I am probably talking to myself! Oh, well . . .)