Aug 12, 2010
MIDWEEK - Time Away
Darin and Aimee talk about how the human heart needs time alone after being abused and tormented in a relationship for years. For many of us who have suffered spiritual abuse and who have believed terrible lies about the heart of God, we need time to ourselves before entering into another full fledged relationship. God is patient with those of us who need this time to heal. He waits with us like a gentleman until we are ready for true intimacy.
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Good podcast. I feel exactly that way...like having to be all by myself for a while. I just wonder sometimes, how long this time will be. Just wanted to read a bit in my bible again, but I had to put it back into the shelf. On my FB page I made a comment and someone who actually is on the Freebelievers site posted a whole bible passage...and I had to take care not to just be a mean jerk, because it annoyed me so much. I might get a message bible and see how that would be to read.
Amazingly, I actually was raised by a highly moral athiest (irreligeous but Believer in a First Cause of the Universe or 'the Force' or something like that-(my dad)-) and his semi-religeous liberal presbreterian wife (my mom). They agreed to not teach the kids religeon but to let us kids be exposed to it and to choose it for ourselves. In a way this was a mistake because we became vulnerable to any and all cultish teachings. But it caused us to seek God desperately from our hearts. However this background may have helped us spiritually it still did not eliminate the mental and emotional trials tribulations and suffering we all must go thru.
I've been pondering these things a lot recently. I've been wondering what application the true Gospel has to the average person in everyday life. We've been fed on a diet of tall stories on the one hand and horror stories on the other - two complete extremes. There's always a reference in mind to an anecdote in a book in which a Christian experienced a way-out, miraculous event that is not dissimilar to what we read about in the Old Testament. But how the heck do we apply this to our lives? What do you do with all these principles, formulas and stories when you're out shopping or sat at your desk at work? What does prayer really sound like today? What are we meant to do with the Bible? We've been presented with a representation of the Gospel that has absolutely no application or relevance with everyday life in today's culture. I feel like I want to start all over again. Good point about the Message Bible, I also recommend the Living Bible (especially the original 1971 version)
 Often we have found ourselves, in our minds looking at God and trying to fit Him into our "teaching, doctrine, dogma, methodology etc." Picture yourself as standing beside the Father, with His arm around your shoulder, both looking at a person, problem or situation and Him asking you; "What do you think?" (As a Father would with His Son) This is the relationship I believe He desires. My earthly father never encouraged me to "worship or Praise" him. He was focused on me and my development and wellbeing. He had instruction and encouragement for me, which I received because from my birth, I knew that his love for me was unqualified and perfectly patient. This is the Reason that Matthew first chapter is soooo important and foundational. Blessings to each of us in our honest search and travels.
Good podcast, & I actually got to hear all of it this time. I didn't do anything any different, but it played all the way through this time.
I loved this...it so helped me and my husband realize what God is doing in our hearts andf lives. We have left the ISC 7 years ago. God is setting us free from all the bondages we were tought in the AG and the four Squar church. we love Gods people and are realizing His amazing and overwhelming love for us. " there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" He took all our shame, guilt, and sin. I am free! Christ Jesus my LORD has set me Free! Praise you Jesus.
I looove this one, baby! Especially the freedom thing while listening to a pastor speak. Generally, the most admired people are those who swallow whatever he says, and they are considered to have the greatest faith, because they immediately hail to the man. There's this psychological click, that if you disagree, you feel guilty right away. If he said "jump out of the window" and you'd hesitate, thoughts like "you're not willing to suffer for the Lord" would appear in your mind. And all the verses like "you're not willing to eat the 'hard food', you're not willing to 'carry your cross'". Such a source of abuse. This is how cults keep people in. Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt. Today I read a few sentences from a terrible book on calvinistic predestination and immediately when I screamed it's horrible, these guilt clicks started to appear. We're crazy. Such a guilt driven religion. The manipulation makes you want to produce a technicolor rainbow... Love these freedomizing talks.
What the heck is a human video??!! :D
Guys, I just have to say that I'm so thankful to be living in this time. Just compare it to the Medieval ages, the bad guys used God's name to gain control, power, money, oppress others. The good guys were scared to death of him and expected to spend thousands of years in the purgatory after their death. And we live in a day when we have the honor to know the REAL GUY again! Do we realize this? For 1900 years people have been mostly scared of God, they lost Jesus, reinterpreted the Scriptures in various terrible ways, killed each other, led the Crusades, created terrible hierarchy, inquistion, everything. And WE are honored to live in a day, when we see the beauty of the TRUE Father again. I spent 7 years in hell alive, but what I see now is amazing! We won't die scared to death. We just won't. We know HIM! Millions have found His true beauty after death, we are honored to know HIM alive, on this planet. Wow. We have truly found that He is Love. And we're not even fat ;).
Good relevant podcast. I can relate to needing time to myself, to sort out what is past, before I can look to the future. That's true in any relationship, whether with other humans or with God.
Good relevant podcast. I can relate to needing time to myself, to sort out what is past, before I can look to the future. That's true in any relationship, whether with other humans or with God.
Aimee and Darin... By being alone do you mean "contemplation"?
Damn! This is a GREAT podcast. Wish more people could hear what you said about your brother's description of "athiestic freedom" being the true manifestation of how New Testatment freedom should feel.
We need time to heal..time to detox..time for me and time for us( me amd Jesus )The abuse is devastating and the wounds go deep. Healing takes place layer by layer over time. The surface can scab over but unless the healing starts from deep within it will still retain posion and fester and be worse than when the wound was fresh. It will produce a scarring which is called "proud flesh" or keloid and it is ugly and bitterness will be the result. Healing is ours..Jesus is the one to do it. Let Him love you to wholeness
I loved the discussion!!!! You guys are wonderful... thanks again..
Thanks for talking about this. This really describes where I have been since liberation 2 years ago. Nothing looks or feels like it did before, and though that has been a difficult process, it has been the best thing for me.
Great podcast. The hard part is trying to explain this to people close to you who do not understand. Bit worried about the "moral, free, good guy athiest" picture. Some athiests I know are as bad as the IC!!! When they do not love they often exhibit traits like desire to control, fear, self interest etc etc that just express themselves in different ways. Let's not jump out of the frying pan into the fire. I know someone who was raised by a woman who I guess you could say became free in that she left the church and I think became an athiest or at least an agnostic, and was mean, controlling, spiteful, self interested, lying,unforgiving, critical, judgemental, racist, an intellectual snob . . . and criticised the church for being some of those things!!!!!
Paul S - I so appreciated your incredibly thoughtful honesty. I know exactly what you mean; I have thought those things often. That is why it would always baffle me when people would say "The Bible is God's instruction book for life." I get what they mean about the principles and heart behind many of its messages, but it seems a little assuming (and UNthoughtful perhaps) that I can read much of what was culturally geared and apply it to my 21st Century life...I don't know...just a ponderance I have often had...
Ha Ha about the human video myso ;-) Loved your "guilt clicks" term...so get it...
WOW! I've been listening for the past 2 months. I'm 68 yrs old and was as immersed in the ASG from day one. I've been out about 8 years but could not even listen to any podcasts until recently. Your podcasts have been really freeing me from the more hidden aspects of the abuse. Those "little phrases" are spoken Sunday after Sunday. Incredibly damaging! Undermining one's confidence in God and the self. Thank you. Keep up the good work. I still can't read the bible. I agree that people who haven't had a church background are really the lucky ones. The freedom I'm now experiencing is wonderful and it keeps getting better. God is so much more than what I was taught he is.
This podcast could not come at a better time in my life. I have been released from going to IC for over 2 years, but not from the guilt I feel because I don't pray, worship or read my bible. The one thing I do know for sure is just how patient and loving my Father truly is and that was huge for me. I was born and raised Catholic, rebelled for a season, and then went to a AG church among others. Many of the teachings were condemnation, threats and a few feel goods thrown in. No wonder I am a mess. I realize how this has affected my relationships with others. Right now I am in a place where I just want to lay low and just be alone to sort things out. So when you said it was all right to feel this way about God and that He is giving me time it really has lifted some of the guilt. I am grateful that I can listen to you and others who are going through phase in their life and know that I am ok. Thank you again.
What is a human video? I really don't know.
For those of you who don't know, a "human video" is when people play a Christian song and then act out what's being sung about. It's like an MTV video but it's live.
Thanks D.
Also had to google 'human video'. Aimee you are right about the rest of the world not having a clue what that means ;-) Thanks so much for this podcast, it resonated so much with me from beginning to end. It helps to see that the process I am finding myself in is normal for those leaving the church, including the fear, guilt and shame about 'believing the wrong things now', and the difficulty and loneliness of walking it all alone. Yet I know that it is the only way to do it until I reach an honest relationship with God as I perceive him (it, her, whatever)...Thanks for the light of grace and acceptance this podcast sheds on my journey, allowing me to let go of some of the self-condemnation and to embrace the loneliness and struggles as something good and eventually worthwhile!
Great topic. After coming out of a marriage that I fought control for 24 years, I had to be willing to admit to myself, that even though I fought the control, the oppression and the garbage had wounded me. To admit the emotional abuse and accept it has been a journey. The parallel to my walk with the "church" is the same. I fought their view of God with my view of God for 35 years. During the year that I finally admitted the failure of my marriage, God confronted every area of my heart in relationships, and I remember saying God whats up with this, is there no area of my heart you will not confront, every area of relationship He confronted from my marriage, my friends and the "church". God literally hid me away in so many ways to heal me. Im still on the journey of coming out of "hiding" This parallel to the bad relationship in life and with the "church" in my life is uncanny. Thanks for helping me see the process a little more.