Jan 28, 2012
Recovering From Relationship Expectations
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That was good. It is however, not only church people that shun you when you leave the pack. My husband was a managing director for twenty years and was unlawfully dismissed by the chairman. After building a back-yard business into a flourishing multimillion business and keeping hundreds of small businesses supplied with their daily requirements not a shareholder stood by him or even spoke to him. We had socialized with them all. They all felt safer running with the wolf who wasted company money and his cohorts who never dared to disagree with him as he had their money. Within two years all the people we had trained had left or found other employment and we left the country. Twenty years later many of the loyal old staff have traced us and phone occasionally just to chat. My husband was a quiet caring man and a great mentor. We were devastated at the time but it turned out to be a wonderful blessing and we would not consider going back.
Great discussion guys. I totally agree that you must take initiative and reach out and be friendly if you are vere going to make friends, it doesn't just happen by the Holy Spirit alone. Seems people have a tough time facing how shallow the relationships are in their lives and want to spiritualize everything thinking God will do it all with little or no effort or time on their part. What is tough though is when you do initiate over and over reaching out and there is little or no reciprocation and you feel like you are trying to make someone like you and be your friend. I think if you just stay friendly, have a genuine interest in others and you ask God to show you who he is connecting you with for a season, He will help you build true relationships. There is definitely a time to let things go when it becomes obvious that the other person isn't interested, and it's freeing to let it go and look for the real. Rather have 1 or 2 real friends than lots of fake ones.
Another great discussion, thanks Darin & Robert. I think that when you have been hurt deeply in relationships it is so hard to trust. To trust that you are accepted by God, just the way you are. If anything needs changing in you, God will direct you to it, in His timing and way. Secondly, is trusting your own heart. That you are totally worthy of knowing and loving just as you are. If Jesus gave His very life and heart for us, we are worth it. No matter what own own sin or other people have done to (or through)us. Finally, to accept other as they are, no changes or agendas just two people who God loves trying to love each other as best they can, where they are at. As Jim said better, to have a few real friends than loads than loads of fake ones.
Sorry for all the typos in my first comment. Too much sugar and rock music today I gues. :)
Jim, thats my motto to have a couple of real friends than a lot of fake ones.
Great discussion guys! I can totally relate to the music part!!! And the Runaway Bride movie with the eggS. One day after leaving the church, I recalled that very part of the movie and thought man that is me! I need to discover what I like! I love what you said about principles Darrin it reminded me of something I read the other day in a biography about Bonhoeffer. "That in a nutshell, was Bonhoeffer's difficulty, and it illustrated his thinking that Christians cannot be governed by mere principles. Principles could carry one only so far. At some point every person must hear from God, must know what God was calling him to do apart from others........He was looking for a way out that would allow him to obey his conscience, but that would not force others to obey his conscience.pg 323 Bonhoeffer -Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy.
Once again thoroughly enjoyed this discussion and can relate on so many levels.
Thanks for keeping it real!
Very insightful talk guys- thanks! I have been thinking alot about these issues lately.....you both added some clarity. It always does my heart GOOD to hear other Believers processing the same issues in a natural, timely way. For me it's a witness of God's kids being in synch....
I trust God. I will NEVER trust organized christianity again, having lost decades of life to that fraud.