Dec 02, 2011
The Doctrine of Self Loathing
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Great podcast. That kind of thinking is so prevelant and I have often thought that is why so many "alter calls" include wailing and sobbing sometimes for hours. They honestly think they are wretched and horrible and when they get two minutes of quiet they cry and keep the endless cycle going of "please change me" prayers. How sad and how great you guys are talking about all the things you do. Thank you!
I was the captain of self loathing, and it sucked. It was basically ME paying for the penalty of my ways. I spent years in the church trying to earn something from the Lord that I already had. This mindset will create a negative eternal voice that is not God, not the Devil, but you, or in this case me. Whenever something good happened to me I would tell myself (not me but the negative voice of the God I created) That I shouldn't go there or do it or take that job or or or. Then you don't want to be "disobedient" to the voice you created, or me in this case, so I would wrestle and be guilty and it created anxiety and turmoil in me. I believe many believers are on that same ride especially in the Word Faith, Charismatic and Pentecostal circles. We are supposed to hear from God, then be obedient to this and it creates a viscous cycle for many dear believers. Or maybe it was just me. Can anyone else relate?
Oh yeah, I self loathed over not feeling over flowing with the spirit of Christ.
Oh, the crying. Again, that is us trying to be spiritual because that is what happens when Christ touches us in emotionally charged service, cry...right?
I do believe that when He touches a heart they may be tears, I know I have experienced that. But when it is coupled with trying to create an event of self loathing or a spiritual experience, it is a bad combo.
Another Great Podcast.....Thanks Heaps Darin and Amy for having the courage to talk about this stuff!! I Am continually amazed at how you just keep coming out with topics that as I listen, I find myself giggling and the "little lights go on!!" in my heart,or I suddenly shout, I knew it, I just knew it!! I agree Darin, I want to shout it from the roof tops too!! Everyone deserves to be free from religious crappy lies!! :)
Doug, I totally relate. I had also created a voice - it started with "This is of course what God would tell me" thing. I did it many times and then it started to live a life of its own. The main impact of it on me was guilt. I created a "guilt machine" in my head believing it's God. Even the Bible as I was reading it started to confirm my guilt machine, and eventually all Christianity turned into "guilt machine centered" concept. Now |'m so happy the machine is dead :). Although sometimes I need to kick it, cause it comes to life occasionally. I'd also like to mention that this site and Darin were a great contribution to the machine's destruction.
Thanks myso, I think there are a lot of people that deal with that. It is pretty much the same with me, it likes to come back once in a while. Yes, Darin is a godsend for me too. I actually unfriended him on facebook when I first connected with free believers becasue he told me that I didn't have to fast regurlarly to work up the presence of God. I thought that was nuts. It took me a while to let the chemo work out the religios cancer.