May 25, 2012
Wading Through Shame
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Hey Guys...Wow! What a great broadcast. How easy it is that we don't realise who we "really" are and how God sees us and that we are magnificent sons and daughters in his eyes. Good God...if we could have only heard these things during our youth...hell, I personally, would have lived a different life altogether minus all the baggage and crap that has dogged my life, relentlessly. Thank you for your insights and cool and personal way of saying things. Super stuff! j.
Along the line of things to do to know yourself better: I find taking time at the end of the day to review my day is insightful. I don't do this with an agenda of fault finding or proving something, but as an observer of myself, to see who I am by how I responded to things during the day. Then I can choose to explore something about myself and make fresh discoveries, if I'm being honest. And, I find it to be a great place to be in to hear from God. I take my currently discovered 'ground of truth' and ask questions based on it. Its amazing the things He can clear up with just a few words. Of course it isn't always easy to face your true motivations. I think there is an intentional design on God's part when He says in Genesis 'it was evening and morning and God called it a day'. We have to be willing to go into the darkness of the unknown to arrive at the clarity of light. Sometimes we weep in the evening to have the joy of the mourning/morning.
I don't have a "formula" BUT as scary as it was, I did ask God the question with on open heart, "who do YOU think I am- how do YOU see me?" And IMMEDIATELY that Rita Baloche worship song came into my brain- You are holy, righteous- You are worthy to be praised! I started crying, and at first didn't belive Him, but after the initial shock and disbelief (because of all my years being told differently in the institution) I knew it was true:) Guys, thank-you so much for that podcast. It just re-reminded me of who I am- thanks.
That was truly good. I loved the bit about an onion. It hit a spot that made me decide to write a story along those lines for children. (Just a silly thought that skipped through my mind)Is that why we cry so much when we find out how great the God within us is? It is like the birth of a butterfly. Silliness apart, that was a truly great talk. Thank you so much.
SO GOOD!!! I know that when God started revealing to my heart how much He loves me, I started to see that I'm valuable and stopped looking through the eyes of shame and disgust. His love changes the way I see myself and still is...it is a process.
I drive for a living all over the place and only recently have I had the radio off for long periods of time where it is silent and I can really think about things in life about me, my walk, and who I am in Christ. I tell you the things I realize about God's presence and how He is EVERYWHERE in my life is truly amazing to me. Sometimes I have a hard time with it sometimes, but truthfully silence is a good thing. I remember the Christian group 2nd Chapter of Acts sing this song called "Silence My Heart"
TICK TOCK
TIME IS ERODING
SECONDS ARE FLOATING
AND I CAN'T CATCH THEM
RACING
ROUND IN A HURRY
MAKES WORRY
IT'S TIME TO STEAL AWAY...
It goes on to say
SILENCE YOUR HEART
SET IT APART...
The joy in silence sometimes forces you to face yourself (and I know this is going to sound like that show "Unshackled") and think. I'm force to think about who I am and where I stand with God. And I get to hear God's side of the story about me and it warms my heart and drives me to tears.
I am listening to a PBS program with Wayne Dyer. Just a couple years ago I would have totally disregarded this as "new age". Now I can see that he is an encourager and points people to goodness within- God within, knowing ourselves and shifting our thinking to love ourselves. The foundation of what he says is totally biblical and healthy. The war between the "false self" (flesh) and soul- God within (Christ in you). So much of churchianity is language- their language. What an awesome thing to enjoy a program like this and be FREE. Thanks for contributing to our freedom guys!