Whats The Deal With Mentorship
Darin and Amy Ramos talk about what religion has done to true mentorship. It’s a horrible thing to sit back and watch a heartless institution take hold of something so beautiful and important to life and turn it into a mindless, robotic babysitter with a one-size-fits-all mentality. Our churches have turned mentorship into a job or a “ministry” rather than just allowing it to naturally bloom in the lives of each person. Anytime we attempt to regulate and control things that spontaneously blossom because of the Holy Spirit, we are attempting to regulate and control God Himself. Mentorship isn’t something you plan. It’s something that surfaces where it’s needed and fades away when it’s not.
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One of the most twisted relationships I've ever witnessed was between two men in a church mentoring relationship. One of the men, who was a member of the congregation, approached the other man, who was a leader in the church, to mentor him and "speak into" his life. The result was a one-sided relationship where the leader verbally abused and dominated the other man on a regular basis. Both men hated each other and regularly talked bad about each other to other people. Their "friendship" went on for years though because they considered it a Biblical "covenant relationship".
Such a GOOD talk guys. So right on in terms of this stemming from a "lack of REAL relationships". We have isolated ourselves. Fear of judgements, masks. We DO need the nuturing (and need to nurture) of one another. The word is FULL of "one another"-s. You're so right Amy- in the IC it's not about just doing/living life together. Very little is naturally occuring. This condition so saddens me. Unfortunately, with titles and positions comes agendas- it's not been about loving and caring for one another in the western church. I hold onto the hope that by choosing friendship, truthfulness, authenticity, love with who is in my life today and who comes tomorrow - that change can come in my tiny little piece of the world.
I love your hearts guys- speak on :-D
Good podcast. The only problem is that I was listening to it while I was writing a "please mentor me email". Crap. Had to delete the email and look for real friendship.
Great talk guys! Other free believing friends and I have said more than once that we will run screaming the other way if anyone offers to mentor us ever again.
Mentoring is legitimate if one person has *skills* they are trying to share, such as helping another becoming a better writer - yet I believe this should only be for a season.
But it is indeed warped for some 'older person' to say "I'll mentor you in how to--" be spiritual.?! Once this woman tried to mentor me in several things including learning to speak in tongues. What I found out in this and a couple of other 'mentor relationships' is they tend to give you about 3 months to "get it" or you're out on your ass. That is so unChristlike.
True friendship is such a healing gift, and can't be replaced with a cheap imitation like "mentoring." At this point I believe no one should ever go into any relationship with the intent to fix another. It never ends well. You are so right, people just need a friend. Sadly as you also said, many people are starving for true friendship. And what an important distinction - to encourage others in who they are TO Christ vs. "in" Christ. It's so much more personal.
Ive been to gatherings where a person introduced someone as there Mentor growing up. They may never made that official but that person life impacted the other that they saw them as a positive influence.