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Mar 06, 2009

Anger Management

I believe that through the use of peer pressure, political correctness and unbalanced teachings concerning love and godliness; American Christianity has disengaged the power cord to the greatest enemy of religious tyranny. This enemy requires two forces to be at work simultaneously in order for it to spring to life and fight. When one cable is purposefully severed, this would-be enemy of spiritual enslavement becomes a paralyzed hero.

For many years while serving in the institutional church, I watched in amazement as certain spiritual ideals were air-brushed onto a canvas of lies and paraded before the people in an effort to fool their spirits into receiving a perspective of godliness that would ultimately render them emotionally and spiritually anemic, incapable of defending themselves from spiritual take-over. I do not believe that this happened by accident. 

The first power cord to this hero within each of us is LOVE. The second cord, the one that has been severed, is ANGER. The enemy and the spirit of institutionalism know that if the two were ever connected; the results would be catastrophic. Because of this, a campaign against ANGER was launched in the Christian religion hundreds of years ago. From the moment a person becomes a Christian, they are taught that any form of ANGER is unspiritual, wicked, immature, rebellious, dangerous and an overall sign of spiritual weakness.

We've been trained like spiritual hound dogs to sniff out any signs of it in our lives or the lives of others and strangle it immediately. We've even been programmed to automatically shut down the ears of our hearts to anyone with whom ANGER has been detected. This anger management crusade has been so brilliantly executed by the enemy that if there is a mere hint of it in vocal tones, mannerisms or word phrasing; Christians instantly click to "off." The moment a Christian uses the words, "He's ANGRY" or "He's bitter," they have both permissioned and obligated themselves to close their heart.

Verses that say "Love is not easily angered" are grossly taken out of context in an effort to convince an entire generation that this means more than just getting angry at a person you love. It's used as a call to never allow anger over anything or on behalf of anyone. 

Almost 90% of the Christian people I speak with preface everything they say with silly disclaimers such as, "I don't want to sound bitter," or "I don't want to be angry." ANGER has become the monster under the bed of most people I know. We're terrified of having any of it in us for fear of what we might do. The stories we've heard, the warnings we've been given and the stereotypes that have been stamped on our brains have made us fearful of allowing ANGER into any part of our thinking.

Speakers and authors have had to teach themselves to delicately approach all topics in soothing tones that aren't even realistic for fear that the average Christian might become skittish and run away. The most talented authors have gotten it down pat. They've become experts in communicating to the brain-washed flower children by stepping into their world and speaking their language. In doing so, they only provide momentary relief to the captives, while perpetuating and validating the anti-anger mindset. And the hero sleeps another day.

I watch Christian leaders being interviewed and it's depressing. I can predict exactly how they'll talk and act even before I've ever laid eyes on them. Not an ounce of anger in them because that's what today's version of "spiritual maturity" dictates. Their gentle and sweet voices drive me crazy because they ‘re playing a role that no normal person could ever live up to. They are character-acting and their character is one that the institution has chosen long before they were born. It's a character that can only exhibit good feelings and fluffy bunny sensations, but is useless to affect real change. No one recognizes that they have been bred for spinelessness. All the while it sickens me that no one stands up and demands that someone thinks with their heart!

I'm tired of acting like I'm not ANGRY so as not to offend anyone. How in the world can people not be ANGRY whenDarin Hufford I their spiritual brothers and sisters are being purposefully starved and abused? How can we not be ANGRY at these things if we have love in our hearts? Replacing the emotion of anger with "sad" just doesn't cut it. "Sad" is helpless. It sits in a corner and cries. To not be angry at the sight of spiritual oppression, is to not have love. 

When I wrote "The God's Honest Truth" I was motivated to do so by ANGER. It was an inspiration to me to change the world and set people free. I used to watch an hour of "Christian television" just before sitting down to write because it infuriated me to no end. I became energized and motivated in ways that I can't explain. My anger and rage was not because I was hurt by spiritual injustice and abuse, but because YOU were hurt by it. It was an anger that was on behalf of the hurting hearts of others. Only love can fuel that fire, but until anger is allowed to flow, the fire will cease to glow.

Anger is NOT a sin!

The Bible may warn us to be careful to NOT sin when we are angry, but it doesn't say that ANGER is a sin. Unfortunately, we have thrown the baby out with the bath water. We've decided to forbid ANGER altogether and I believe that because of this choice, we have screwed ourselves. We've raised a generation wimps who aren't capable of rescuing a house fly. 

There will be no hero to spring to life and save us until we allow the blood to flow to all parts of our heart. Restricting the arteries of our hearts in order to avoid ANGER will only numb the entire body and render us incompetent. I am certain that this anti-anger campaign came straight from hell because when blood is pumped into that part of the Christian heart, there is a knight in shining armor in all of us that can spring forth and deliver the captives.

That hero is called "COURAGE." Courage is a mixture of LOVE and ANGER! Christians today do not have an ounce of courage because they've been genetically engineered by the institution to be devoid of ANGER. I do not believe that there will be any freedom for this generation of Christians until ANGER is once again allowed and embraced. Until people come to a point that they don't care about Christian peer pressure; nothing will change.

Every single Free Believer I've met, found their way out of the prison of religion through embracing anger. They do not live by anger and their anger does not control them, but they allow it to move them and compel them to stand up against injustice and tyranny. Love NEEDS anger in order for it to bloom into COURAGE. Without courage, nothing changes.

Darin Hufford



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  1. Gravatar

    I am sad to remember all the times I told my husband that he should be quiet when we left our group because he "sounded angry." He told me once that when I finally became angry I would be dangerous. Love and anger mixed is dangerous to anything that stands in the way of Love. As it should be.

  2. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Yes, Barb I used to say the same thing to myself. "Don't get bitter, don't get bitter, don't be angry." It wasn't until I did get angry that I finally made a change.

  3. Gravatar

    And then I got angry at people because they wouldn't allow me to be angry,, and then I was angry at myself because I thought-maybe I'm not supposed to be angry!!! Now I'm just angry that I spent all those years trying not to be angry, and discovering that I was just shutting down. Whew,,glad I'm getting FREE now...

  4. Gravatar

    "He made a whip from small ropes and threw everyone with their sheep and cattle out of the temple courtyard.He dumped the moneychangers' coins and knocked over their tables." OOPS,Jesus needs anger management.Darin you are so in tune.I was just thinking the last week about the first 4 words in that scripture."He MADE a whip." Most certainly there is passion in the action but you cannot deny the premeditated anger with "He made a whip." I refuse to be complacent and apathetic about what I see and what I know. Just recently I have been cautioned about Unity and bitterness from those fresh out of the I.C.They have the "can't we just all get along attitude" NO!You cannot put new wine in old wineskins.For me the abuse and starvation you mentioned we would never let happen to anyone we care for.

  5. Gravatar

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.....this is refreshing. My husband will be so grateful for these words, and I will be set free by them. We left the IC two months infuriating the injustices and unBiblical power control. I haven't known what to do with the anger at the injustice, and had tremendous guilt over it....Jesus DID say be angry and sin not. What a relief

  6. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Well said Stephanie.

  7. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Thanks AJ. I'd love to connect with you if you are willing.

  8. Gravatar

    Darin, this is a great post! In my opinion, it’s one of your best. The institution has stifled passion and it’s time that we recovered our passion and allowed ourselves to be angry. This morning, I started a blog post regarding spiritual abuse and, after I read yours, I added some additional thoughts regarding anger that your comments inspired and I linked it to your blog. I want to encourage my readers to read what you have to say. The church needs to be set free.

  9. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Thanks Aida. I'd also like to encourage everyone to visit Aida's site and read what she has to say about spiritual abuse. You can find a link to her website in the links section. There is much wisdom from this woman!!!

  10. Gravatar

    Thanks, Darin. As you know, spiritual abuse is a topic that I'm passionate about and your post really encouraged me to allow myself to be angry and to say what needs to be said because the institutional church won't say it.


  11. Gravatar

    oooo, this is SO good and so true. To snuff out any trace of anger is to further kill personality and passion! Man, they are good at it....
    I've embraced my anger and it has been anything but destructive. It's the stuffing of it that had made it dangerous...!

  12. Gravatar
    Wade H

    Wow. What a great and timely post, Darin.

    2 ½ years ago, I resigned my position as an institutional manager (aka “pastor”) and followed God into the Wild. What a ride it’s been. At first, some dear “saints” told me that as long as I’m “angry and bitter” I’ll never be “completely healed.” Well, I’m 2 ½ years into my journey and here’s where I find myself:

    I love God, my family, and non-believers MORE THAN EVER…and yet the anger is still there. In fact, it’s growing. Here’s why…

    If we turned on the news tomorrow and heard that three thousand people were found enslaved, starving, and tortured against their will, what would our response be? Anger? You bet. And rightly so.

  13. Gravatar
    Wade H.

    Now, let’s take it to a different level. If we’re honest, we have to admit that MILLIONS of people, myself included, have been spiritually wounded, damaged, controlled, and yes…even enslaved by the Institutional Church. And we are told that if we are “angry and bitter” about this, that we are spiritually unhealthy. This is absolute hogwash.

    We SHOULD be angry when people are emotionally wounded and scarred.
    We SHOULD be angry when people are spiritually controlled.
    We SHOULD be angry when people are blocked from obtaining a heart that can be FREE.

    If we’re NOT angry about these things, I question our closeness to the heart of God.

    ::::stepping down from my soapbox::::::

    Thanks for all you do, Darin.

  14. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Thanks for the great thoughts Wade. I appreciate you. You and I have walked the same path in many respects.

  15. Gravatar

    Once again, Darin, so true! John Bevere is at the forefront of this, saying that taking offense is Satan's bait. I'll never forget my Bible study meeting the day I returned home from my sister-in-law's funeral. She died of cancer at age 48, 117 days after her diagnosis. My leader got in my face and said that since I was hurt, I had "taken offense" and that was a sin! And all I could think was, "I've spent the whole summer SINNING because I was sad/angry/grieving about my sister-in-law's cancer!" Fortunately, a church leader called her on it and she apologized.

    One of the things that was almost "bred out" of me in the church was standing up for what is right, especially for those who can't fight for themselves.

  16. Gravatar

    Thanks for saying this so well Darin. The IC does really know how to nail people to the wall with the "no anger or bitterness" campaign. They use "don't let the sun go down on your anger" as saying if you're angry you better stop immediately or all the hounds of hell will be unleashed on you. That tact had me an anxious, wigged out mess for a few years.
    I really like what you wrote somewhere recently about how Jesus and Paul wouldn't be accepted into today's churches. I was actually thinking about Jesus using the whip to drive people out of the temple just earlier today.

  17. Gravatar

    And also... thank you for saving me from John Bevere's message as well, Darin. That was truly a saving day for me, I'll never forget it. (((hug))) brother.

  18. Gravatar

    TLC Continued
    Because Jesus didn't defend himself (Isaiah 53:7), so we shouldn't either, right? WRONG! I now stand up for myself, and others, and get angry when I have to in order to make a point. And I still feel guilty for it. But at least my mouth is opening, my heart and mind are engaging, and my passion is releasing the anger and fervor needed to get things CHANGED when they need to be. I'll never shut off this part of me again. And never again will I allow myself to be a doormat in the face of an abusive boss or family member in the name of "Christian love." I'll take my cues from Jesus, and Paul, and stand up for what is right.

    Thanks again, Darin!

  19. Gravatar

    love+anger=righteous indignation

  20. Gravatar

    Look up anger in the etymology dictionary: n. angr "distress, grief," as well as anguish. Somewhere in the N.T. people are admonished not to grieve the Spirit (which according to this defintion would also mean do not anger the Sprit).
    I have felt His passion, His heart, His tears, His longing for all to run to Him. I have never felt guilty for it. How could I feel quilty for the passion of His love pouring through me?

    Once He yelled through me,'Is my blood not enough?!' His passion was coursing through my veins.
    Speaking under unction H.S. is entirely different than speaking in my own strength.
    I feel badly when I snap at my child - or anyone for that matter. When I condemn (blame) in frustration I sure know that it is not the fruit of His Spirit.

  21. Gravatar

    con. . .
    His love Compells me and His Spirit moves me. Yes, much of what is taught today comes against the finished work of Jesus. But anger is really a non-issue when it comes down to the unction of the H.S. (in my experience). I do not get angry at the I.C., but much of what is taught is quite grieving. As long as we are aware that our enemy is not the I.C., but the lies that are funelled through. Whatever it takes for people to turn to Jesus, then, by all means. Tasting the heart of Jesus will cause us to go into the darkest places and do the "greatest exploits". It is His Spirit that emboldens us and our Faith in Him that gives us the courage to stand and fight and destroy the lies of the enemy, not anger. . . OH, I MUST SHARE A DREAM

  22. Gravatar

    I had a dream where I was taken by two men into their pick-up truck with the intent of raping me etc. I was in a place where I would receive help from no one. So I became 'righteously indignant' and told them that they could not do that to me. They dragged me kicking and screaming, holding a gun to my head. I yelled at them and said they had no right to do this to me. They laughed and drove off with me, their prisoner. All of a sudden I stopped (as it was pointless) and started to tell them that God loved them. And i meant it. I was reckless. I didn't care about myself anymore. I told them over and over how much he loved them. It freaked them out so badly they threw the gun down and stopped the truck and let me out. I just kept calling after them, 'He loves you. Come to Him!'

  23. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    If we are to receive His Spirit within us, then we must be willing to receive all aspects of His Spirit without limitation. Forbidding or downplaying anger or indignation at injustice and spiritual tyranny is to reject an attribute of God's heart that is seen all throughout scripture. When you possess the LOVE of God, you will naturally possess indignation on behalf of the ones you love. That "courage to stand and fight and destroy the lies of the enemy" IS in fact indignation on behalf of the ones being lied to. To eliminate anger is to restrict the Spirit of God from fully moving within us on behalf of the hurting.

  24. Gravatar

    I have drawn so much strength over the years from David's life and the Psalms. David and the writers were angry at times, bitter at times, indignant at times, vengeful at times and most certainly full of passion and zeal. Thank God I have had this book of human emotions to reference over the years. In this day and age David would most assuredly be in anger management along with the Prophets, Judges, Disciples, Apostles, Jesus and even God himself. I have learned that false teaching always has a payoff for the one giving and the one receiving. The one giving gets quiet obedient zombies while the one receiving stays apathetic and poor in Spirit accepting whatever comes along even if it is wrong. If you go up against the false teaching or teacher, look out, anger is A O.K. then.

  25. Gravatar

    “My anger and rage was not because I was hurt by spiritual injustice and abuse, but because YOU were hurt by it.” This statement makes it clear that Darin isn’t referring to anger because of our own personal hurts but he’s referring to anger which is the result of watching others being hurt and abused. As we come to trust God to take care of us, the first kind of anger lessens but, as we grow in love for others, the second anger intensifies. Brian called it “righteous indignation.” Without it, few of us would be motivated to speak out in order to see our brothers and sisters set free.

  26. Gravatar
    John P

    "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Heb. 10:24
    "spur"=paroxysmos in the Greek, "an inciting, incitement". The same word appears in Acts 15:39 to describe the dispute between Paul and Barnabas concerning John Mark. In this context the word means "a sharp fit of anger, sharp contention, angry dispute".
    I believe we need to understand how our anger can be channeled to incite or stir up others toward love and good deeds. This is part of our "encouraging one another" in the Body of Christ and we need not shy away from the passion and zeal we feel for our brothers and sisters who are victims of spiritual abuse!

  27. Gravatar
    Joshua Guild

    I used to be alone in my anger and I felt misunderstood. Since I met you about 4 years ago Darin I have never felt alone in my anger. When I read your heart in The God's Honest Truth it proved that my eyes were not the only eyes seeing the deep extent of the corruption. People using our Father and His children for their own selfish gain make me furious. People who worship the institution will eventually betray like Judas Iscariot.

  28. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    John P, thank you for that insight. Very powerful!

  29. Gravatar

    Anger turned inward = depression!!

    Too many in the body of Christ in the institution are in bondage to depression as a result of being programmed into thinking ANGER itself IS THE SIN!! Aimlessly drifting along in silent pain wondering why the loving Father will not bring healing all the while being oppressed and taught to deny real and true emotions and feelings in effort to keep them under CONTROL at any cost (spiritual, emotional, physical and mental well being)!!
    Oh the damage done to the children of Christ in the name of control,religion and growing the institution!!
    Father forgive them, they know not what they do
    (or sadly do they?)
    I applaud you once again for speaking TRUTH.

  30. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Thanks Josh. You rock! I remember when I met you it was at a time in my life that I needed another persons perspective as well. It's nice to share indignation with someone else:)

  31. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Lana, what great insight you have. "Anger turned inward = depression". SO TRUE. Thanks.

  32. Gravatar
    Per Sawyer

    Well, well, well - finally a message on the positives of anger. I tend to be a passionate and expressive type guy! And at times taken the wrong way b/c of the other party seeing my anger as something personal towards them. My best of friends can see it though, knowing me they realize my passion for the good rather than the opposite. Walking in peace does not necessarily mean you walk around looking like a hypnotic quaalude looking new ager.

  33. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    I run into a lot of the same accusations from people as you Per. People are quick to judge and turn themselves off at the first sight of passion.

  34. Gravatar

    All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing.
    Edmund Burke

  35. Gravatar

    I am always thinking about this subject because I feel guilty for getting passionate about issues, I become introspective about the things I say and how I say them. Christian men have been feminized to the 20th power, we are told to say what we have to say "in love", what the heck does that even mean? I think when people admonish us to say things "in love" they are talking about your tone and not attitude of the heart. Jesus was acting out of PERFECT Love for his Father and others when he turned over the moneychangers tables but I guarantee his tone was strong and he was ANGRY! I bet if that happened today he would be accused of not acting in love. In my opinion...Love is not Love unless anger is present with it

  36. Gravatar

    If I didn't love my "pew-sitting" brothers and sisters so much and know how much love and joy they are missing in thier lives, I wouldn't be so angry with the institution that has spent years turning them into "Stepford Christians". They go through the motions week after week,but have never been set free by "knowing" the Father's love and grace. Yes,I'm ANGRY! In fact, I pray that I never get to the place where I am not angry about it.

  37. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Randy, I'm convinced that the only way to get to that point is to lose heart altogether.

  38. Gravatar

    As I have pulled away from the IC it was like a pednulum swinging from the extremes of my upbringing to the other extreme of a strong sense of anger. Anger at the years of crap heaped on me, the years of performance, the years of sin management, the years of NOT seeing God as Abba Father....whose grace extends beyond that one day when the magic salvaiton prayer was uttered. Sadly the anger has surfaced in many areas that surprised me and I am working thru them carefully with the help of a counsellor. I know in time (and seeing it already) the pendulum will swing back into the center and I will find the balance that I need. I am now watching my wife beginning to experience the IC anger.

  39. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Well at least the two of you have each other to go through it. I know it infuriating when you begin to add everything up, isn't it?

  40. Gravatar
    Ahna Capri

    If I had never gotten angry at what mankind calls a church than I would have never found the TRUTH!! I wasn't satisfied with the god I was being served and wouldn't/couldn't swallow what was being placed in front of me as truth or God. I went from being raised catholic and unsatisfied with a god I couldn't reach, to trying varioius churches. I went to a presbytrian church, a independent fundementalist baptist church, to a pentecostal church, and finally in my quest for TRUTH and GOD it led me to the one person able to tell me The God's Honest Truth! And I thank God for sending me the truth. But first I had to get ANGRY. And my breaking point came when the pastor of a church told me that if I left, God would take his cover of protection from me. I screamed at God aloud to show me the TRUTH!

  41. Gravatar

    If we cannot be at peace with our own anger, we can't be at peace with God. God is good and righteous in HIS anger, when we share his anger why are we in sin then? If we accuse other people who are angry of wrong doing, we also judge God. VERY well written Darin and bravo!

  42. Gravatar

    Darin, there are those who say that because we are angry and couragous are judgmental and are trying to put ouselves in Gods place as judges because not all men are bad. They say we are blanketing all churches and all people with judgment. What are your thoughts on this. It is as if you cannot get angry without being slapped yourself in anger and called judgmental...boggled.

  43. Gravatar

    I am posting a portion of a response I got on discussion on angry people and the I.C. Here goes,

    I had this confusion before in attempting to follow Jesus in what He does. I learned the difference we need to keep in mind between us and Jesus is that He is God and we're not. He has full right to judge and disply his wrath because he is fully righteous and have not sinned. We, on the other hand, aren't God, and therefore don't have the same right to judge and whip the people in the temple like He did. He taught us to love one another and leave the judgement to Him. I personally am glad I don't have that responsibility to judge. :-)

    A clarification of judgment is necessary in this day and age...any thoughts?

  44. Gravatar

    I was pissed off until I read your blog.

  45. Gravatar

    Darin- this has been needed to be said by someone for a long, long time brother! Thank you for having the cajones to address this subject.

  46. Gravatar
    Darla Bartlett

    Darin - I came to your site to find something to help with my husband's "anger issue". Instead, I found that he is more balanced than I knew. Your teaching has revolutionized our life - from Longview, TX to freedom. Thank you.

  47. Gravatar

    I have tried all the option but all went in vein. Because of the fact that I'm very short tempered.anger management counseling

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