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Mar 12, 2009

The Fellowship Abduction

I grew up hearing the word "fellowship" so often in my church that I thought it was a Greek or Hebrew word. They used the word in ways that no one else in the world did. People don't say, "Let's get together and have a time of fellowship." That's just not normal talk in the world. In fact, I'm not sure people in the world even use that word anymore. It's pretty much outdated. In the Christian world when people say the word fellowship, they do so with a proud gleam in their eye, as though they did something good. In a bizarre way, it elicits a cooing response from others in the room. It doesn't matter if everything you say is wrong and twisted; if you use the word fellowship somewhere in the sentence, it makes everything feel fluffy and spiritual.
Darin Hufford fellowship
I remember looking around our congregation when I was a young man and getting the sense that the church didn't give two hoots about fellowship, yet oddly, they preached about it over and over until I thought I would scream. I remember looking around the building, asking myself, "Where is this fellowship they're talking about?" Everyone I could see was sitting quietly like zombies in a trance while one guy stood up and board the hell out of us. I'm convinced that they stole a word and redefined it. Fellowship in "church talk" means sitting quietly in the pew for an hour and then putting a tenth of your paycheck in the plate. It means "showing up to church" and nothing more. Trust me in this; It doesn't mean fellowship! Waving goodbye in the parking lot to someone you see every week, is hardly fellowship.

Ironically, many churches actually use the word fellowship in their name and the only real fellowship that takes place is a nod in the foyer and wave in the parking lot. In that respect, I think the word fellowship is a bit like the word communion. Communion means "sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings," but in the Christian world,communion means nothing of the sort. We quietly wait our turn until the wafer and juice comes around and then swallow the bread pill and take the juice shot, fold our hands and sit in silence until the service is over. No sharing, no exchanging, no intimate thoughts, no feelings; nothing. It's basically just an appetizer to hold you over till lunch. Just as the word communion has been abducted, I believe there has been a fellowship abduction in American Christianity. 

I think I have had the ever-popular Hebrews 10:25 verse about not forsaking the fellowship quoted to me over 500 times. This verse is a favorite, spewed to anyone who may consider becoming a Free Believer. Ironically, when you tell someone that you have friends with whom you fellowship every day of the week, it doesn't seem to count. They don't think it counts because they've been taught to read the verse as saying, "Go to church." In other words, they've redefined the word fellowship and it matters not how much of it you really have in your life; if you're not going to a planned church service once a week, you're not fellowshipping.

I actually find it comical when someone in the IC quotes this verse to me because the verse, in and of itself, is evidence against attending the modern-day Church. In order to adhere to the fellowship verse, one would have to leave the IC, because for the most part, it stands directly against authentic fellowship. I can have more authentic fellowship with a person in line at the post office than I can in ten weeks of church services. I have found that for most people, attending a local Church actually causes a "fellowship deficiency" in their lives, rather than an increase.

I've watched in amazement as people become Christians and in a matter of months, end relationships with their friends who don't go to their church. It's encouraged. As a church-going Christian, the list of who you CANNOT fellowship with gets longer and longer every week. In a few short years, most Christians find themselves without any friends outside their church.

The Hebrews fellowship verse was quoted to a friend of mine by the pastor's wife when she found out my friend was leaving their church. She told me the woman was literally crying when she said it, as though she was warning my friend of imminent danger ahead. She pleadingly stopped her in the halls on her way out and said, "Whatever you do; do not forsake the fellowship." There was a urgency in her voice that told my friend that she honestly believed spiritual death was imminent. My friend was not concerned or fearful over this. In fact she was amused because this was the FIRST time the pastor's wife had ever talked to her. Go figure.

The "fellowship verse" was one of the last things my father said to me before he died. He had a worried look in his eyes as he said it. He felt like all my friends were pulling me away from Church. He was concerned that my fellowship was pulling me away from the fellowship. I valued my time with my friends because we could openly talk about God, without fearing anyone's judgment. My dying father referred to this as, "Dangerous ground." Ironically, my father never once "forsook the fellowship," and he died with eight children; none of whom he had a heart connection with.

I believe that the average church-attending Christian has been drained of their inborn ability to fellowship. Authentic friendship is out of the question because the natural linking parts of the soul have been ground to a nub by repetitive teachings that conflict with true intimacy. Even the heart's desire to connect is often numbed and deflated. Gradually, over time, the new "churchy" definition of fellowship begins to take form in the subconscious, while the organic truth that once was, fades away into never-was-ness.

It's ironic that an organization that actually describes itself using the term fellowship, is responsible for producing people who are virtually incapable of doing so. From the moment we enter the institutional church system, we are slowly taught to surrender our "intensity" and behave like robots. We nervously chuckle when the pastor instructs us to "turn to our neighbor and say......." (something stupid), but we do it playfully nonetheless. That one little compromise leads to a thousand more just like it and before we know it, we can't relate to any real person who crosses our path. 

Darin Hufford weirdI believe that Christian relationships are frail and phony because Christians are put through a series of exercises that make them weird and unattractive to people who truly want heart connection. We are taught to be that person that no one wants to be friends with and everyone avoids. Weird talk is praised and encouraged. Insincerity is rewarded with a title of wisdom. Christians become whatever they need to become in order to manipulate people to come to their church. In a weird way we become like the friend who got involved with the multi-level marketing scheme and hounded every one of his friends until they all left him for good.

Rather than experiencing the pattern of heart connection in the same way as everyone else in the world, Christians are taught to leave their relationships up to the church. They learn to expect the church to find them someone to connect with. They no longer have to groom themselves and behave in order to get along with others and make friends. Now all they have to do is show up and everyone has to be their friend because they're Christian.

From our birth, we are taught to force our hearts into open intimacy with whoever is around us, regardless of the lack of foundation. It's considered "Christian" for us to open up fully to someone we've never met before. Rather than allow the natural organic process of relationship to take its course, we're encouraged to skip the first foundational points of intimacy and jump straight to a level 5. The end result is that most Christian fellowship is paper-thin and is not grounded in anything authentic. It falls in an instant because there is nothing substantial holding it up in the first place. To make matters worse, we are also taught that we can never have enough close friends, so we feel the obligation to give all of ourselves to everyone in the world.

The moment the first sign of a natural and real relationship begins to appear, the church leadership is quick to jump on it and dissolve it. Such relationships are referred to as "clicks" and are snuffed out as soon as possible. If people meet for a Bible study they are taught to be extra careful that their meeting doesn't turn into a "social" event. Think about that for a moment.

Relationships in the Christian world are similar to arranged marriages in other countries.Darin Hufford marriageSomeone else decides who you'll meet with, when you'll meet, what you'll talk about and for how long. If true intimacy isn't accomplished on cue, you are accused of holding back or covering something and being unwilling to open your heart. "Intimacy" is defined in the IC by whether or not you cry in front of everyone else. If you're not comfortable doing that; you are made to feel like a lesser Christian.

I have watched in astonishment as the same pattern of freedom seems to visit every Free Believers. As their heart's desire for love and truth grows, their hatred for phoniness increases. Your love for truth and your hatred for phoniness move on the same scale. They rise and fall together. The more you love truth, the more you hate fake friendships. The less you care about love and truth, the less you care about fake friendships. I am convinced that institutionalism has effectively drained the desire for love and truth from an entire generation. Once that is accomplished, words can be hijacked and replaced with little or no retaliation. There is virtually no escape until the desire to love is awakened.

I believe there is fellowship, and there is "Institutional fellowship." The two are as far apart as the east is from the west. They are literally complete opposites. In the end, it comes down to what type of fellowship you want in your life. If you have love in your heart, you'll almost always be repulsed by institutional fellowship. It's cold and lifeless. It's a lie. Free Believers are people who have made the decision that they actually aren't getting fellowship in their institutional church. They aren't forsaking fellowship; they are demanding it!

Darin Hufford


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  1. Gravatar

    Darin, although ALL your posts are superb, I believe this is one of your best. I recently wrote a series of blogposts on my page about the difference between institutional friendship/fellowship vs. REAL. Truly the two ARE as far as the East is from the West. Polar opposites. I, too, have been "hit" with Hebrews 10:25 "gun." You hit at the heart of this subject here: "As their heart's desire for love and truth grows, their hatred for phoniness increases. Your love for truth and your hatred for phoniness move on the same scale. They rise and fall together. The more you love truth, the more you hate fake friendships. The less you care about love and truth, the less you care about fake friendships." I want to BE & have REAL friendships. ~Amy :)

  2. Gravatar

    Love God...Love others...fellowship with God...fellowship with others...May we all as free believers ache for the Father's fellowship above all the other incomplete and worthless idols we allow in the high places of our heart!! Thanks for sharing some of your struggle in breaking free and may we all find sweet, real, butt honest fellowship with our Great God and then with those around us....even at the post office!!

  3. Gravatar

    When I was a kid my father always taught us that God created us to have fellowship with Him. But it meant nothing like spend time together, have fun, talk about the things you like. It meant something like forget about everything natural and real, appear in a vacuum, where there is nothing normal, only holiness (which equaled void, not beauty).This kind of fellowship always meant something boring to me. Something I wouldn't enjoy, something I'd have to force myself to do. Something unattractive. I thought, man, if this is what eternity is going to be about it's gonna be a really boring time. The word God was for me always connected with something unnatural and unreal. Like God is the weird guy you have to spent time with because you have to, not because you are naturally attracted to Him.

  4. Gravatar

    IC top dogs will also control who their staff is allowed to be friends with. A friend of mine who was once part of a singles group, was no longer allowed to have conversations with the single guys anymore once she was married, she worked for the "church" so she complied because it wasn't ladylike.

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    When I left the I.C. one of the first things I did was relapse back into drugs and alcohol.I was chasing the buzz, but I missed the fellowship of my friends too. I honestly believe that my Pot smoking, drug using friends had a better handle on fellowship than any church I ever attended.We laughed, we talked, we ate (of course), we cried, we shared our beliefs, hopes and dreams.God was talked about more intimately than any church fellowship I had ever been in.Even though our fellowship was centered around the bondage of drugs and alcohol,most times we went away encouraged by our friendships.By no means do I advocate drug use.I do recommend we stop trying to formulate fellowship/relationship.Why must everyone SEE the fellowship for it to be fellowship? Two people and his name = fellowship.

  6. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Great points everyone! I think we all are demanding something real in our lives at this point.

  7. Gravatar

    very interesting aspects, at the moment i'm feeling guilty of not wanting to be a friend of my roommate or part of my cel group since it's just so aggravating.
    anyway, i realized that i'm pretty disconnected from the IC - fear mentality of Hebrews 10:25, this week the pastor mentioned "if anyone says two friends is a fellowship and says sunday fellowship is not important, don't listen to them its the devil ..." and it didn't even make me feel guilty anymore :), i just thought "o, how i wish he could meet wayne and brad from the god journey or darin, amy and kim from free believers!" and then i chuckled inside.

  8. Gravatar
    Shannon Brown

    Darin, I don't know how you do it, but you write what is deep within put words to what is bursting at the seams to get out. THANK YOU!!
    I am craving real fellowship in my life, after years of living without it.
    Myso, I so relate to your childhood view of God. God always seemed very boring and dry and I couldn't wrap my brain around what there was to look forward to in heaven.

  9. Gravatar

    Vincent, IKWYM, that is very aggravating. I always keep in mind that their paycheck and sense of self-worth depends on people buying this message. Thanks Darin, this is another great blog putting the heart stuff into words.

  10. Gravatar

    Man, this is great. I have to admit, I love to hang out with people who have a great sense of humor and don't take themselves to seriously. It seems that in the IC you are discouraged from just being you lest someone is offended...I hate it

  11. Gravatar

    I feel you bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Gravatar
    Corey J Couturier

    I agree with you. In a traditional church setting, there simply isn't enough time to develop true relationships and have true fellowship meeting on Sunday mornings for an hour or two. I barely had time to say hi to everyone and I went to a small church. Someone would be offended that I didn't say hi to them on Sunday morning. Some of the more intimate relationships were formed when we had our home groups.
    I was looked on with suspicion because those I met with were people who lived in my neighborhood, and were attended by people who were seeking something more than what they got on Sunday Mornings. We were all from different Churches, but what we had was our love for the Lord, and a love for each other.

  13. Gravatar

    Reality for me:
    I'm sitting here sunday morning after dropping my teenage son off at our local IC so he can play bass in It's band. As I am reading on Facebook, all our friends who go to the IC talk about how excited they are because it's The Day. My wife and I often go (she works in It's some sort of attendance is expected, but surprisingly not mandatory and besides, there's 600-800 people there to fill our seats).

    To say the least, this is a strained relationship with It. After 30+ years of attending, many of our closest friendships sprouted from this place, although the best relationships happen outside It's doors.

    It can seem lonely and liberating at the same time. I check Freebelievers quite often for inspiration. Thank you all.

  14. Gravatar
    Davdi Backus

    A good friend of mine joined up with the Messianic Jewish church recently. He tells me all about them. Their church gathering (from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday) is an all day event. After the ritual prayers and Torah reading, there is plenty of time spent eating and discussing things. There are even beds in the back for people to sleep overnight in. After hearing the description, I was half tempted to convert to the messianic Jews for this reason. It seems that SOME Christians still have it right.

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    This lack of "fellowship" was one of the most hurtful parts of going to church, and one of the main reasons I left. People thought they were your friends if they said "Hi" to you on Sunday. IC married women seemed to think they could hang out with other women at Bible study or other church-related events, but otherwise they only went out with their husbands. There was no such thing as a "girls' night out." No matter which group I joined or who I called, once the event was over, that was it. I got tired of people who would "reach out and touch" -- I wanted people who would reach out, grab ahold, and walk through life with me. They're not in the IC, so I left and found them elsewhere. Thanks for another great post!

  16. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Thanks TLC.

  17. Gravatar

    Once again Darin, you have aptly described another example of the IC hijacking a word and twisting it until nothing of it's original beauty remains.How many of us have left the IC because we could no longer live the lie?I remember feeling so disgusted everytime I heard the misuse of words like fellowship and unity from the pulpit.I am torn between feeling frustrated with the people who continue to play along like actors in some religious version of The Emperor's New Clothes,to feeling sorry that they don't even know what they are missing.Every website about life outside the IC is rife with examples of people who are starving for REAL fellowship. I believe God is calling His church out so He can bring it together.Our longing is the beginning.I look forward to days of real fellowship ahead

  18. Gravatar

    I could go either way on this. While there are extremes to this practice, I think a lot of churches do provide very close quarter ways of "fellowshipping." If we take this subject out of the church context it might be more helpful. Say we have a 1,000 people who gather periodically, perhaps like a business. And of that group there are people who have common interests. So to foster POTENTIAL connections we find common subjects of interest and arrange meetings for those people. Perhaps they find close friends, perhaps not. Nothing wrong with this. In the church I think the problem is a gaurantee of intimacy is often made or expectations are put on people to act a certain way in meeting or connecting. Which are both unnatural.

  19. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Yea I agree that putting together opportunity for people to find fellowship is a wonderful thing. I think some people need others to put it together for them. I'm all for that.:)

  20. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    It makes me so sad that most of the faces behind these comments have never had true fellowship inside the local church walls. I see everyone's heart behind their words but I disagree with the absolutes about ALL local churches. I am a Pastor's wife and one of Darin's biggest fans. I believe that his revelations have freed me from corrupted teachings. I wish I could have discovered them myself but God used my friend to open my eyes to truth. Due in part to Darin's friendship and teachings, my husband and I are pastoring a different kind of church. We love people more than the building. I believe the local church can make a difference. I believe this because I know we are. We have a couple who began joining us in services almost a year ago. They were both raised devout Catholic.

  21. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    By this time the husband claimed to be an atheist and the wife was so angry at God. They attended the church only because a friend invited them to an Easter "fellowship". No message, no offering, just food and conversation. They made friends and he joined the softball team. They came very sporadically to church services. They desired a small group setting where they could ask questions. We began one on Sunday nights and they attend faithfully. We meet in a friends home and we ALL share our doubts and fears. And we ask lots of questions. We discovered one of the husbands passions was being "Green". We started a community garden on the church property and put him in charge. At this time he still didn't understand God's love, but he knew he liked us. Just 3 weeks ago this couple

  22. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    invited us to a Mardi Gras party. They are from Louisiana. We walked in to a room full of people we didn't know and three couples from the church. The husband greeted us wearing a shirt that said "Show me your tits" and a beer in one hand. Now I know that most "church goers" would have turned around, walked out and never associated with this couple again. But we stayed, laughed, and fellowshiped. Many people could have left that party and said "Did you see Pastor Ty and Heather at the Mardi Gras party?" Who cares? Our friends even introduced us to their friends as "Our Pastors". This was a Saturday night. The next morning they were both in church service on the front row. That morning they gave their life to Christ. Now I know that worship services, offerings, one man teaching

  23. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    from an old wooden pulpit and an altar call may not have been God's idea for the Church. Paul many not have done it this way. But church CAN be a tool used to touch lives. My friends are proof of that. Could they have given God a chance in their life some other way? Absolutely!! When a man or woman loves people more than the institution, the institution begins to work for them. Church isn't bad. It's the heart of the believer that's just so confused and jaded. I am a free believer and I thank Darin Hufford for that. But I am also a church attender. I reach out to those at the post office and in the pew. We all need to know God's love and grace. We all need to share God's love and grace. Thank you for allowing me to comment.

  24. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    can attest to the fact that this woman and her husband are free believers! Their church is a heart runned church. The difference between Ty and Heathers church is that some IC's are run by the government and some are heart led. The problem is that VERY FEW are heart led. I am finding that almost 9 out of 10 people have an experience of being controlled by Church government. My heart is to show people the difference. It's not about not going to Church, or even leaving the system as much as it's about demanding TRUE FELLOWSHIP!! :) I would travel hundreds of miles to attend Heather's church but I would walk across the street to attend other churches. Thanks Heather!!

  25. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    Amen to that!

  26. Gravatar
    Darin Hufford

    Get the young-un packed in the car Heather; WE'RE GOING ON VACATION!!!!!

  27. Gravatar

    I guess that as long as people know why they go to church there is no problem in going to church. The problem is that church practices as we know them today, from Catholicism to Evangelicalism are not biblical for Christians and that creates bondage! Read 'Pagan Christianity' by Frank Viola to learn the roots of what we practice.

  28. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    I'm sorry but I am tired of hearing what is and is not biblical. You could get two people to argue any and every side of the bible and what they believe it says. I have religious people tell me having a glass of wine is sinful and others say it doesn't matter how much you drink if you are in the 4 walls of your home. Or nothing is at all wrong with drinking. If I know God's heart and I know I do, what am I really arguing about. It's just religious. The argument is the most Godless thing. Is the internet biblical? Is this web-site written in scripture? Of course not, but it is a tool that God will and does use. I agree the IC has major problems. But who is in the middle of those problems? Confused and misguided? The Church (the individual). They have developed the IC.

  29. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    How do we change the IC? We share the truth with the people right in the middle of IC crap. You take someone like me. I've seen more junk in the IC than most but I know that if the individual doesn't change they still carry their wrong thinking into the world. I heard "The God's Honest Truth" and I am now making a difference. I now aide others in being set free. The answer is not to abandon the institution because then all you have is a bunch of churches walking around still confused and of no good to this world. We are saddened by the religious spirit in the IC. Let's not leave the IC and still continue to be religious. It makes us no different than what we are against.

  30. Gravatar
    Heather Bean

    To stand on the outside and criticize will rarely bring change. But to stand on the inside and speak truth can and will change a generation.

  31. Gravatar

    The lady protests too much!

    It wasn't my intention to ruffle anybody's feathers. I'm sorry. I rest my case.

  32. Gravatar

    I actually stayed in a "church" to try and change things, started questioning some financial decisions,(for example: they were over a million dollars in debt and wanted to go further in debt by building another building), questioned some of the performance based teaching, I was targeted as a problem, but instead of speaking with me, my friend who worked for the "church" at the time, was getting cornered by the senior pastor cross examining her as to where I was getting my info from cause I apparently knew things I wasn't suppose to. In an attempt to protect her, I left so she wouldn't be cornered by the senior pastor in private anymore. Sometimes you have to walk away, because it's the only way to protect your friends. Not every "church" is a safe place, some are run as dictatorships

  33. Gravatar

    Choice. The ability to make a selection from a range of options. It's a great thing. You can choose to stay, to go or even to come and go. If I meet you and remain blame free, then I see the real you and there is real hope that we can communicate and share something of substance.

    Here is another point of view from someone who invariably makes me smile:

  34. Gravatar
    Marc in wittmann

    Wow Pastor Darin, I havent seen you in years, since you first passed out you blue night light cards at singles night when I attended on tuesday night. I since returend and found out you were no longer there and wondered if this little buue care still worked so I typed in the site and this one came up. You know I have always liked your teachings but had to stop coming because of the distance. Well that is so true, why cant most christians understand what fellowship truley is. It was nice to find your site boy that wonderful blue card. lol.

  35. Gravatar
    Mr. Solo

    Another outstanding read, sir. May I have another, please? :)

  36. Gravatar

    I'm so amazed at this phenominom that is going on in today worlds IC. Growing up in the IC was not like this I mean my parents had the most closest friends in the world. All of us kids grew up together and spent the nights at eachothers houses. Their parents were like my 2nd 3rd 4th & 5th and so on parents, and mine were that to them as well. All the families got together for BIG and Huge camp outings. All the families would get together on the weekends for pot lucks and hang outs, with huge family picknicks. Even today with my dads and his wife new church that he pastors all the families are all ways geting together. The women are like best friends, my dad has men that always do stuff together. The church is LOST as it's members are broken and incabable of love and relationship.

  37. Gravatar

    though I am just reading these posts, I too have felt this awful ache...and it comes from "church".I have never felt so terribly alone, and friendless as I have in IC! guess it was one of the many reasons I never felt I was missed when I left. if you did not the "serve" the one in charge, you never fit in. I have begun new friendships, and pray they are not phony, but come through the test of time, and circumstances.

  38. Gravatar

    We just spoke together this morning (Easter) on this very subject! Thank you my brother for your honesty and courage to address this subject.

  39. Gravatar
    Cedric Cross

    Spot on Darin, you seem to have lived my observations and then verbalized them so eloquently. Bless you

  40. Gravatar
    Boyd Murrah

    Evangelical "IC" leadership is dominated by extroverts. I'm not one, so I can't be absolutely sure, but extroverts are alleged to be the kind of people who get charged by lots of interaction with crowds, and not by serious talk for hours among small groups of real friends.

    I'm a ruling elder in a Bible-believing Presbyterian Church, but I think I understand very well what the kernel factor is that many are speaking of on this blog.

    One answer is a small, non-legalistic church, if you can find one. But, it has to be 'free-thinking' under the full authority of the Word of God. That is, there has to be a spirit of investigation.

  41. Gravatar

    Aside from the part about boring pretty much summed up how I feel about fellowship in my church. I have so much love in my heart for people and for the truth and yet no matter how much love I use in speaking the truth people don’t want to know the truth they are afraid to trust each other for fear you will know the truth about them. Like we don’t all know we are filthy sinners??? Fellowship has been degraded into hi, bye, a hug, and a wave. Don't tell me the truth about you and I won't tell you the truth about me...we can walk around like plastic people pretending to serve God with all our hearts...all the while we sin in our anger because we lack true fellowship and are hurt by other believers. We are always told to keep our eyes on Christ and not man, yet there is a desire in all of us to connect with each other and be loved…isn’t that what the church is for?

  42. Gravatar
    Christine e.

    I so enjoyed this post. It brought back such happy memories of arguing with a pastor at our former church about why my husband and I didn't really feel obliged to 'fellowship' with a couple young enough to be our kids, just because we lived within a few blocks of each other. At least at our present church we just feel a generalized condemnation for not being extroverted enough. Did Jesus die for introverts too? Some weeks I start to have doubts.

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