The Judgment Recipe
I recently had a “fall out” with a young couple who had been a part of my ministry for almost ten years. They were supporters of The Free Believers Network and had always been reliable and trustworthy friends. These people were solid. We had never once had an argument or even a disagreement. I would never have predicted what was about to take place.
Out of nowhere they cancelled their subscription to the FBN, refused to return my emails and pretty much vanished from my life. I tried contacting them over and over but to no avail. I even contacted the brother of one of them in an effort to at least find out whether or not they were alive and well. The brother casually dropped a comment that made my head spin. He said, “We’ve been hearing things.” When I pressed him as to what things they had “been hearing” he refused to tell me. For some reason he didn’t want to give me a chance to defend myself or answer to whatever charges were being brought against me. I was devastated. My mind was spinning in an effort to figure out what in the world this couple could have heard about me that would cause them to end the relationship like that.
The thing that was so hurtful to me was the fact that they never came to me personally and asked me about whatever it was they had heard. Rather than give me the benefit of the doubt and at least give me the opportunity to defend myself, they chose to just believe what they had been told and went with that. I knew for sure in my heart that if they were to let me know what they heard, it could be cleared up in a matter of minutes. I knew this because I knew I hadn’t done anything worthy of banishment from anyones life. There was no doubt in my mind that this couple had been lied to by someone. Why wouldn’t they just come to me and ask me personally
It was about six months later when I believe God outright told me why they kept the details to themselves. They liked what they heard. They didn’t come to me to allow me a chance to answer these accusations because they knew in their hearts it wasn’t true. They knew I would be able to convince them in a matter of seconds that they had believed a lie, so they avoided me like the plague. This was one of my biggest lessons concerning “judgment.”
Judgment doesn’t ask questions. It determines the answers to all questions before they’re even asked. The spirit of judgment creates an entire story around a person, and then interprets everything the person says or does through the lens of that story. Amazingly, everything makes perfect sense as it is being interpreted. Everything lines up perfectly. The person is presumed guilty until proven innocent. No matter what the person says or does, their words appear as indisputable confirmation that the lies that have been told about them are true on every side.
Being judgmental is more than just talking bad about someone or assuming the worst. It’s more than looking down on a person or defining someone by their actions. When we pass judgment we are actually taking part in one of the most spiritually destructive things possible. I’ve found that the average person has little to no idea how powerful and deep-seated being judgmental really is.
What is judgment? It is one part lie, mixed with one part BELIEVE. The final outcome is so powerfully delusional that even a close family member can be deceived by it. Things go from being one-dimensional and frivolous to becoming an all-out three-dimensional lie in a matter of seconds. It leaves a pile of destroyed lives and reputations in its wake that usually take years to repair. Because it is conceived through the use of BELIEVE it goes from being a mere opinion to becoming a spiritual reality. Anytime “believe” is added to the pot, whether for good or bad, whether right or wrong, whether in truth or in error; it mutates with whatever story it’s attached to and becomes truth for that particular moment in time. “Believe” is that one ingredient that makes anything come alive. It takes a very special and gifted person to see past that lie and detect the real heart of the matter once judgment has been passed.
One reason why I believe we don’t give the act of being judgmental a second thought is because many of us have lost sight of the power of believe. Simply put, we don’t believe there is anything to our “believe.” We’ve become like a child with a loaded shot-gun. We assume that invisible bullets will fly out when we pull the trigger. We don’t really believe there ARE real bullets in our believe. As a consequence we routinely go around shooting people and we wonder why they don’t get up, brush themselves off and keep playing with us.
A person who is judgmental has made a covenant with believe that launches them into a world of deception that appears every bit as real as their hand in front of their face. The “believe” part of their judgment shows them that they’re right in what they are thinking. Why should they change their mind or stop being judgmental?
A person’s believe is never supposed to be fused together with anything but TRUTH.
One of the ways you can tell if you are being judgmental (believing a lie) is by asking yourself how this information initially made you feel. I’ve found that this is one of the only ways a person caught in a world of judgment can see past the lie to which they’ve connected their “believe”. If whatever it is you are believing about a person makes you happy, there’s a good chance that it’s judgment and not truth. When looking through the lens of believe, everything you look at springs to life and it’s almost impossible to decipher truth. The only lens that can counter whatever lies have come to life through believe’s lens is the LENS OF LOVE. I have found that this is the only way you can authentically see the absolute TRUTH about something or someone
I’ve found that people who have plugged their believe into lies about God do the same thing. When a person believes God is angry and violent and they open their bibles, all they see is evidence that supports what they’ve plugged their believe into. Verse after verse reveals an angry god glaring back at them from within the pages. It’s inescapable. They are incapable of seeing or hearing anything beyond what they believe. Even compassionate scriptures seem to have an undertone of hell attached to them. Every nook and cranny of the bible appears to be filled with evidence that supports what lingers in their heart. THAT’S the power of passing judgment.
This is how a radical Muslim can justify detonating a bomb in a cafe filled with innocent men, women and children. He has connected his believe with a lie, and every part of him is convinced that he is on the side of truth; therefore, his actions are holy and true. If he were given a lie detector test and asked whether or not God will reward him for murdering these people, he would say, “absolutely,” and he would pass with flying colors. What is so obviously wrong in the eyes of every thinking human being, has now become right in the eyes of someone who has dared to hitch their BELIEVE to a lie. In a very real way, a judgmental person is a terrorist of sorts.
The offense of passing judgment is not the lie that is believed, but the belief in the lie. When a person’s “believe” is willingly fused together with a lie, they are defiling themselves spiritually. They are making a spiritual bond between themselves and darkness. In effect, they are violating themselves without even knowing it.
Why are Christians so judgmental?
This is a question I have been asked by at least a thousand people over the years. It’s usually the first question anyone asks in reference to “church people.” It seems to have become the Christian stereotype of sorts in our generation. The word “Christian” and “Judgmental” have become synonymous. It’s actually a very good question. How did this happen to us? Why are so many of us this way?
I personally believe that the Christian religion in America is set up to breed judgmental people. That is to say, people who routinely fuse their BELIEVE with lies. It’s not by accident that we do this. People generally don’t do anything unless there is some personal benefit from doing so. I have found that people hitch their believe to lies because it launches them into a world they enjoy. They actually like what it does to them when they believe lies. They experience a high of sorts when the bond between believe and a lie is made. It gives us a cheap thrill. In a very real way it’s like what I call “spiritual masturbation.”
A person’s “believe” is very much like their spiritual reproductive organs. Whatever they plug it into springs to life. A person’s spiritual reproductive organ gives life to that with which it is linked. When believe is placed into something, whether true or not, that thing becomes alive. An outright lie suddenly springs to life and becomes true in the person’s eyes. It’s important to understand that just because something “appears” as truth in a person’s eyes doesn’t mean it IS truth. It’s difficult to tell the difference between TRUTH and a living-lie. Only a heart of love can distinguish the difference!!
I honestly feel that the religion of Christianity has pimped out its people and has addicted them to the thrill of spiritual masturbation. Our spiritual reproductive organ (believe) was designed by God to be fused together with God and people. It is our special way of seeing the invisible. Both God and people are invisible to us. Through believe, however, we are able to see the unseen. We are able to know God and one another through this amazing power. The life in a relationship comes through believe. Believing in the person you are in relationship with is what causes you to see them. In fact, relationship doesn’t even begin until believe is applied. The “knowing” of a person or God simply isn’t possible until believe is detonated. The only thing that should be connected to the lens of believe is LOVE. This is why connecting a lie with believe is so awful.
The problem with religion is that it sends all of our believe in a thousand different directions. We are given a new thing we must “believe” every Sunday. It used to be as simple as believing in God’s one and only Son. Now, however we must believe in every point of doctrine. We’re told to “believe” in the bible or we won’t be saved. We even have to “believe” in Satan and hell, by today’s Christian standards, or Tennessee Gladeville Employment Lawyers we’re not considered Christian. If you’re Pentecostal you have to “believe” in speaking in tongues. If you’re Catholic you have to “Believe” in the Sacraments. If you’re Baptist you must “believe” in eternal security, and so on. Every week we’re confronted with another thing we must apply our believe to in order to be a Christian. It seems that in most Christian circles today, if you don’t “believe” the exact same way everyone else does, you’ll be banished. Entire denominations are formed based on people’s believe. We segregate ourselves and seclude ourselves from one another based on what we believe. We only allow ourselves to associate with people who have the same beliefs as we do. Anyone who doesn’t share our beliefs is a threat. We’ll have nothing to do with them.
Christians today remind me of a humping dog looking for anything to mount. We go from meeting to meeting, conference to conference, service to service desperately looking for something to place our believe in. This spiritually toxic environment has bred a generation of people who haphazardly fuse their believe to anything that moves in an effort to see SOMETHING come to life. Rather than reserve their believe for the things it was intended for, they put it in anything they can find.
I find that most Christians are lost and without direction because the one thing their believe was designed to be linked to is not something they’ve experienced in their entire lives - LOVE. When the very component meant for “believe” is taken out of the equation, people are left plugging away, looking for anything that fits. Unfortunately it ends up being lies, because they’re readily available.
We’ve been conditioned to be judgmental. It’s no wonder passing judgment is second nature to us. We spent a lifetime doing judgmental calisthenics.
I can always tell when “judgmental” has visited one of my friends. There’s a certain look that people get in their eyes when you see them after they’ve swallowed a lie about you. It’s like you can see the story alive within them. They have a “poisoned look” in their eyes where you can tell they’ve been talking. In their eyes there is an entire world that’s buzzing with life and they’ve made decisions about you that cannot and will not be changed.
People wonder why their friends refuse to directly confront them about the things that were told them about you, but the reason they don’t is because they know in their heart that confronting that person could put an end to the world of lies they’ve built. In other words, they don’t investigate the facts because they like the way it makes them feel and they know they wouldn’t get to continue gratifying themselves with that lie once they were faced with the truth. Therein lies ”Judgmental’s” power source.
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Right on target according to what i have experienced in the last 44yrs
i truly believe in judge not lest you be judged....so often we become guilty of the very thing we judge...
I love you so much and don't care what it is that is said...just feel a heart beating in sync with mine.
Excellent article. I found myself guilty in some areas of being judgmental as I read your thoughts. May God help us to love people and leave the rest to Him! Thanks for posting this.
I think this comes from the authoritarian nature of most churches and denominations. Most people have it so ingrained in them to believe whatever their pastor says and not to question "God's prophet." So they believe the first thing they hear. They don't ask questions, they don't do any research, and they pass on information that's never been verified.
Is it any surprise, then, that they are judgmental? Even though we're told not to judge, and we're not to bear false witness, and we're supposed to go to someone privately when there's a problem, and we're supposed to verify everything with Scripture?
There's a great book called "The Authoritarians" that explains much about this. Here's the link to the website:
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
The book is in PDF format, and it's free. It's a quick and fascinating read.
"Christians today remind me of a humping dog looking for anything to mount." Should Christians be hound humpers? I say nay; “Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith ..†(Lev 18.23). Neither should they promote judgmentalism.
I believe it is easier for people to believe their lies than face the real issues at hand. Thank you for writing this Darin. I have a similar issue in my family. I have no idea what the problem is. I do believe this is not what God had intended for us as believers.
Nice post. I agree, overall, that Christians and Muslims are often extremely judgmental. That's a big problem.
I do have a couple of issues with this. You say, "It used to be as simple as believing in God’s one and only Son." That is not simple at all. The immaterial supreme being had a material, human son, who is also the immaterial supreme being? And we believe that why? Is there evidence involved, or is it "try it, you'll like it"?
You also say, "I find that most Christians are lost and without direction because the one thing their believe was designed to be linked to is not something they've experienced in their entire lives - LOVE." Perhaps by LOVE you mean something different from love. Someone who has never experienced human love would have a serious personality disorder, likely a lost cause.
I also have to say I was getting pretty creeped out by your spiritual reproductive organ analogy. Ew.
Chiefy, you shouldn't be creeped out by the Spiritual reproductive analogy as the bible uses this analogy many times. Circumcision is one of the main ways. Abraham had to cut off eh foreskin from his penis as a sign of his covenant with God. Later in the NT it was revealed that true circumcision is circumcision of the HEART. Also God calls the Israelites "adulterers" when they chase after other Gods instead of being with Him alone. Sex and spirituality are used in unison over and over in Scripture.
As far as proof about Jesus being who He said he was. We actually DO have proof. The resurrection is proof. It's a historical fact that he did raise from the dead. Even Josephas (a Jewish historian at the time) recorded that it happened.
The comment about Christians not experiencing love is directed towards the church world and the lack of real love that is ever shown. Most Christians have never really seen love in action. That's pretty obvious if you look around.
Michael I don't want you to feel guilty. Please don't That's not why I wrote this. I wasn't trying to bring about any feelings of "conviction" to anyone. I just wanted to define exactly how "judgmental" is conceived. If anything, I wanted to highlight the power of your "believe." We can all find reason to feel guilty. That doesn't do any of us any good. It's a waste of time. I think we should rejoice that He has given us this amazing tool to make things come to life. When used properly, our "believe" can literally change the world and rescue people from dire circumstances. It really IS that powerful.
It happens too often-the judging. As Christians, we've been so conditioned to do so, it's almost part and parcel of our DNA. And everyone's our target: Gays/Lesbians, Muslims, Evolutionists, etc.
Then when a Christian who lives the Love of God crosses our path, our synapses go into overload and we go into "panic" mode because we never allow ourselves to live that. Oh, then we brand them as "heretics".
It's sad it you ask me. Peace!
"Christians today remind me of a humping dog looking for anything to mount."
Perhaps we are too 'DOG-matic?'
...(Sorry, Darin, I couldn't resist!)
I love your heart D-man.
I am so happy you took the time to write again. This is so on point, and resonates deeply with me.
'They like what they hear, and how it makes them feel', really helped put some things into perspective for me. Since leaving the IC, my extended family has done this very thing, believe the lie but never come to me. It has sat heavy on my heart, but being able to come at it from this point of view helps me release them, and myself, from the constant heart battle of wanting to change their minds. I am good with me. I choose to be good with them regardless of where they land on their 'believe' about me. Thank you! love you
I have a question as to why you are so sure about this.
"It was about six months later when I believe God outright told me why they kept the details to themselves. They liked what they heard."
I do believe they definitely should of said why they were distancing themselves from you. On the other hand, maybe YOU liked thinking even less of them and assuming they liked what they had apparently heard. Makes it doubly evident the problelm lies with them and their problem.
It really comes across to me that you have some judgementalism of them to consider.
Jeff, I think you missed Darin’s point. The couple and the brother are not important other than as an example.
We become judgmental to justify some position we want to hold. Being judgmental allows us to set ourselves apart as morally superior and we are not interested in hearing anything that would lessen this status.
I think works are closely related to being judgmental. The more involved we are in Christian works the more we feel justified in being judgmental of others that are not as involved.
I have to say Jeff that I'm a little shocked that THIS is what you came away with after having read this article. It appears as though you came into this specifically LOOKING to find fault with me. I wasn't in any way attempting to convince the reader that I was immune to the temptation to judge others. I consider myself to be as frail and spiritually clumsy as anyone I write to. If you're looking to find evidence of imperfection in me, you won't have to look very hard. I've never set myself up as the guy who has it all together.
I probably judge others as much as they judge me. That doesn't take away from the truth of what's written here. If we all had to wait until we were perfect before we wrote about something, nothing would ever get written.
I'm so grateful for truth you continue to share. It resonates with those who get it. No need to defend or convince.
Hey Darin, good to know your around , i miss you do you rememember me, much love friend, i would love to relocate to Washington if you can help pls reply or send me a way to communicate with you friend
Darin, its just that one of the most common things I see is that humans tend to do just what they criticsize in others. Of course myself included. If we are criticsizing the problem of being or feeling compelled to believe certain "things", concepts, doctrines, what have you, we need to be aware we may also be at the least encouraging those we influence to believe in a specific way,or to believe different things.
I love you David. I miss you so much. I hope you're doing well my friend. I think about you all the time. Like you, I'm getting better every day.
Jeff I don't think this article had a feeling of criticism to any of it. It was merely stating the facts of what judgment is and why it's so harmful to people. This wasn't about criticizing Christians or any other group of people. This was about understanding the power of your "believe." I think perhaps you might have already thought I was critical to Christians when you came to read this article. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When I used the term "criticsize in others" I am speaking of saying that what someone says or does is either wrong or not the best it could be. If you say "the religion of Christianity has pimped out its people" for instance, that would seem to be a statement that is critical of that. Its not saying what has happened is a good thing. Its more than a simple statement of facts. If it is a true statement, its obvious people hasve done this.
I think its a good subject to write on. There are many questions about "believing". For instance I don't think what I believe has an impact on what is actually true, excepting that it will affect how I think, act, and say. And it will then affect or impact who I interact with. But it won't change what is true.
Its interesting as well about what we hold on to as true. You included for instance that a baptist must believe in eternal security. I believe that a person who is His and do nothing to become "not His". Nor that He will discard any such person.
But I don't think believing that is a necessary piece of being reconciled with God.
On the other hand, I do think there are truths that should be known and believed. Not for salvation but because they are true. In 1 Corinthians 15, among other things Paul talks about the resurrection and how some people had come to disbelieve that. He explaiins how important it is that it occured. That they should know these things and believe them.
Salvation, being reconciled with God, knowing and being known by Him, is of grace, and is in and through Jesus Christ.
That is pretty much it to me.
I think the reason for being so judgemental is we have been so brainwashed into thinking we are just filthy sinners, saved by the skin of our fingernails by a God who can only just tolerate us. By then judging and condemning others, it makes us feel better about ourselves. It has taken me a long time to break free from feeling unloved by God and even now, I am still working through shame, fear and judgement. Great article Darin. I love you and your heart. I so very happy you are making progress with your health. Keep going brother. You don't know how much I have appreciated your podcasts as I have had to work through all the garbage and pain I have gone through, in the name of religion and the church. Cheers buddy!
Hi Jeff,
Why are 'simple statements of fact' the only relevant means of expression? Darin used valid metaphors and hyperboles to communicate a broader message about a heart-felt topic. By and large, blogs are informal tools of communication (regardless of the topic). If you wanted to read theologically precise arguments on the place of judgement in Christianity, why would you read a blog by someone who probably doesn't give a crap about theology? If one can't express anything that isn't absolutely and perfectly self-aware or meets someone else's standards, then there's nothing in the world worth reading.
Genuine concerns are genuine concerns but nit-picking is thinly veiled/passive-aggressive judgement. And yes, I have been critical because you strongly give the impression that you care more about minor points of personal difference than you do about the broader picture. We've all been guilty of judging others at times. Let's move on, please!
Hi Christie,
I am not sure why you are saying some of these things to me. You asked me "Why are 'simple statements of fact' the only relevant means of expression?"
I don't know how you got the idea I implied or feel they are. I have no idea on that. Darin wrote the following to me in which HE said he was just stating facts. Frankly, either simply stating facts or using metaphors or what have you to express oneself are all fine with me.
About the only thing I care about is if what one is saying is true, if they are saying it is true. Because I am also cool with fiction along with symbolism, methaphors, what have you.
"Jeff I don't think this article had a feeling of criticism to any of it. It was merely stating the facts of what judgment is and why it's so harmful to people. "
I would like to point out that there is a forum associated with the freebelievers.com website.
Its easy to join and a good place to have discussion of topics like this. Some more company would be welcome there I bet.
Someone, left your sight on my facebook, I have been so lost since I graduated from Seminary and your writing are right on, thank you.
Hi Jeff,
I'm referring to your first blog whereby your point was to find fault with the personal reference to the friendship and the conclusions drawn for it's demise. Darin stated that 'they liked what they heard' (this may not have been an evidenced-based statement but it is nonetheless valid to the point being made and it was factual to the situation). On this part of the article alone, you suggested that Darin was being judgemental towards his subject but the whole article in context demonstrates otherwise.
"the religion of Christianity has pimped out its people" -it appears that your second comment took issue with this wonderful metaphor:
"When I used the term "criticsize in others" I am speaking of saying that what someone says or does is either wrong or not the best it could be. If you say "the religion of Christianity has pimped out its people" for instance, that would seem to be a statement that is critical of that. Its not saying what has happened is a good thing.
continued...
I honestly can't decipher what you meant by this paragraph as it appears you are contradicting your own point. Are you suggesting that using a statement like 'pimping out its people' shouldn't be used because Darin claimed to stick to facts? The thing is, he did stick to facts and used metaphor to enhance and further communicate the experience behind the facts. Like I said, he is writing about HIS experiences.
Apart from taking issue with certain points of expression, what did you gain from the article? What did you think the overall blog was about? Did you recognise yourself or others in the article? Would you agree that Christians (so called or otherwise) have a reputation for being judgemental to suit their own ends?
Hi Darin I found this an excellent read and it talked about the very questions I been asking about of the last few years. I constantly asked why a Christians so judgmental, I've often found them to be far worse than friends I have who don't align themselves with any religion, and yet they believe. I really related to the point about noticing how what someone says makes you feel, and thank God I've been able to feel hurt rather than happiness when the truth has been spoken, though I'm far from perfect as I've experienced totally the opposite as well. The important thing is to listen to your heart and not your head for there is where God speaks to us. See only love! I believe that most of the lies are built by fear generated in our religious institutions, and yet love is the opposite to fear, John tells us this in his book when he tells us that the one who fears cannot be perfected in love. Blessing to you Darin so glad you are well again. Would love you to make it to Australia one day.
Sorry there was an error above in my typing in the part about feeling hurt - I meant to say thank God I've experienced the feeling of hurt when a lie is being spoken rather than the truth.
Jeff, how can you hijack a thread so effectively and make it all about you .
It's great to see you back on deck Darin and your writing is as good as its ever been. I enjoyed regarding the article heaps.
It looks like some folks are uncomfortable with Jeff's take on things but if you want to continue the discussion feel free to use the forum. It's a much more "comfortable" format and we could use a few extra voices as things have been a little quiet of late. If you are already registered here is the thread that Jeff alluded to: http://freebelievers.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=2168
I am leaving the thread. As to how can I hijack a thread? I don't think I did. But I think perhaps simply expressing disagreement or a different perspective in such a situation as this can result in attention to the writer even if they never had that in mind or want that.
This reminds me of a couple of conversations that you and I have had.
It can be easy to find one's self in the land of illusion. I know because its happened to me. When someone is around a person that is constantly talking bad and trying to trap you in a world that they have created it can be difficult to escape. One may begin to wonder if the accusations are true and maybe they are the ones not seeing a truth that the other has. Doubt has the ability to kill the truth if one lets it. And like you've said "belief" has power, power to create almost anything. I struggled in this area but love won and it always will. I don't blame those that come in and destroy because we all have the ability to do it. I think some just can't help themselves. I've seen them struggle with the lies that penetrate their heart and mind. I could write a book about this topic. I think all that truly matter is that there was love at one point and that one hold onto Love if the other walks away from it.
Darin, your comments abut Being judgemental are spot on. The people on this thread that carry on about aspects of what you have written that have nothing to do with your message, are so annoying, and yes, they need to leave the thread!!! I know, I have to stop being judgmental!!!! Love the message and appreciate your insights. I believe this sort of thing has happened to most of us at some time. And of course, the key message, is, as you have said "love never fails"
I was just marveling that Darin is here, speaking, and blogging again! The miracle that took place before all of us is AMAZING! I know that we have never met, but you are our brother and we love you. We rejoice at your miraculous recovery. Your blog was compelling, gritty, graphic, perfect Darin Hufford style. It made me examine my own heart, and I saw myself in the issue of where my "believe" is. I remember feeling that sick sort of joy at hearing of the failures and faults of others due to my lack of understanding God's true nature. No condemnation, just revelation and a renewed mind because of Grace! This ongoing renewal only comes when I dare trust the voice of God to my own heart and rest in His scandalous, unrelenting, wooing me to dance nature. It is the answer to my only prayer for literally years, "Give me eyes to see and ears to hear what Your Spirit is saying and doing!" Here's to stone sharpening stone!
Darin, this is so powerfully true! When we BELIEVE our own thinking without truly investigating it, it is SO destructive. I'm so sad that this couple did not go towards the lens of love as you said. That is the only thing that truly speaks the truth that heals rather than separates. Investigation of facts and "believes" has changed my heart and judgmental attitude forever. I love and miss you brother/friend, and I know how much it hurts you to be misunderstood and cut off. My heart aches for this couple as well, because they are missing out on something eternal. Love itself. Love always believes the best about others... I think this whole article is spot on.
I think Christians are judgemental because they see God as a judge, therefore they behave like the judge. They talk about God judging a nation as well based on the decisions the government makes, and floats down to the individual and the decisions they make. I also think when people judge or more accurately make assumptions and wrong ones they really don't KNOW the person. Only recently a friend of mine hadn't heard from me for a while and assumed that I was living with someone who I had met only 6 months ago, I was shocked at their assumption as I thought surely the KNEW I wouIdn't do that after knowing someone for only that length of time, sad, disappointing and discouraging. Thanks for the post Darin
I got judged on the forum and it hurt like crazy especially when I thought the person concerned was a friend. Or maybe it was deserved. I don't know. Was heading for big breakdown which landed me in hospital soon after that. It is not to say I have never been guilty of same, but in my case I have more often let people walk all over me in the name of not judging them. How does one get a balance? Going to the person does not always work either because sometimes it just opens more wounds and leaves them bleeding (both parties) rather than bringing healing to a relationship.
Adam ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, Jesus gives us himself, the tree of life. But its in our nature to keep eating from the tree of "knowledge" such as we can do things in the name of "good" and stray into error. We think with our knowledge/belief we can judge if there is justifiable cause, or the need to do so in order to be on guard, to be selective in who we Love and choose to fellowship with. In contrast with; John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.â€
We have our own definition of what love is and means, often conditional, a mark. When Jesus was upon earth in his ministry he did things most christians today would of been appalled of in the sense of who he openly associated with, sitting down and eating with tax collectors and harlots etc.
Being judged by other christians hurts more because they should know better.
Hey Darin, I'm glad you are blogging again, it's been a long time since I've read one of your posts.
Hi Darin im so glad to read you again. I missed you so much. Your articles are always well received.
I am a first time commenter here, and enjoyed this post by Darrin. The question, "Why are Christians so Judgmental?" is a good one IMO. I'm sure there are many reasons, but it seems to me that unrighteous judgment is the symptom while pride/self-righteousness is the cause. One example: The false teaching that "good works prove salvation, and bad works prove lack of salvation" would have no fertile ground to grow like a cancer in the Body of Christ if it were not for our tendency as believers to yield to our self-righteous nature rather than the Holy Spirit. Solution: The believer must be honest with himself/herself. The old nature has not been eradicated. ALL of us within the Body of Christ tend to yield to our fleshly nature more than we would like. Armed with this biblical reality, go forth having mercy and compassion on others just as Christ had, and has, on you.
I want to thank you for what you are doing on this site. I have been a victim of what I have come to call "spiritual bullying" by someone who was supposed to be my friend. If I don't agree then I'm critical,judgmental, unteachable,etc etc etc.Other people have been hurt by her as well but no one will say anything out of fear. This blog in particular is very enlightening as to what happened to me.This woman was very judgmental and believed a lie about me and never even asked me about it.She saw everything through that lie and there was nothing I could do or say about it.Now if I don't want to be involved with her I am unforgiving and bitter. Seriously!!?? I am fed up with spiritual garbage.I still like my church and Pastor but I will no longer be bullied or put down or controlled. I don't feel a need to speak out every time I don't agree but I no longer feel afraid to do it when the situation calls for it.Will I be able to stay in my church? Time will tell.
Very good article Darin
I am heartbroken to come here and read a comment that states "people who have never been loved are a lost cause." I was raised in a very abusive home, I was never shown love.I am desperately seeking Gods love. Is it impossible for me? Yes, I am damaged.