Hi! My name is...

[NaomiStar]

Hi Juke. Welcome to the forum!!!

Great post!

I am an iranian/armenian who came to US in 1978 and was introduced to Jesus by a free believer, and that was the main reason i was interested to hear what he had to say, cause i knew whatever he HAD was NOT religion.

I'm so glad you have joined us and look forward to hearing more from you.

I think each of of us at some point of our journey need to ,and will hear Him say those words to us. guess i have come full circle to where i started from.

Thanks for the reminder, I needed to hear that.
I'm so glad you have found His arms of grace once again. The IC can be very influential in taking our focus away from the real good news of the gospel and making us feel that we have to try hard to be good in order to be blessed.

[AidaC]

Jasmine!!!!!

I’m so excited to see you here and I’m so glad that you’ve enjoyed reading our conversations. We’ve been out in the wild a long time so we’re definitely a “wild bunch.” I loved reading your story and learning more about your journey.

Esther (NaomiStar), I know you’ll absolutely love Jasmine. She’s an amazing woman of much wisdom who has already touched my heart deeply. I know we’ll all benefit greatly from her wisdom.

Welcome to the forum!

[juke]

Thank you Ester and Aida, its so precious to find people to connect with , I am so gratefuly for YOU . Its really late , so will talk more soon. much love .

[michalejames]

Hey welcome here i am jack from USA its nice to meet you all

[AidaC]

Hi Jack! Feel free to join in the conversations as often as you wish. We're glad you're here and we're looking forward to getting to know you.

Welcome to the forum!

[Ildifro]

Ildiko, I just recently moved to New Zealand with my husband of 27yrs. We are in the process of moving into our new home on Waiheke. Some 5yrs ago I came across some Grace Messages and they lead me deeper into wanting to know Gods heart, not only what I had heard in church and taught as well for that matter...
Long Story short -we got up and left the organized church a bit over a year ago - our 3 children hat various reactions to it, mostly positive - my daughter in law refuses to talk to me since then, which hurts, but ... I guess thats also a process to learn to trust God doing the loving on her.
Our oldest Son, together with his wife is on a world trip and finds more and more how real God is..

So in a couple of days I will have a home Internet, which will make connecting a bit easier.. looking Forward to getting to know some insights of other peoples lives..

[AidaC]

Ildifro, thanks for sharing some of your story with us. Unfortunately, once we enter into this new life of grace, family members don’t always understand and it can cause stress in those relationships. I’m sorry you’re daughter-in-law won’t talk to you. That must be difficult but hopefully over time, the walls that she’s built will start coming down.

We’re glad you’re here and I hope you’ll be encouraged as others share what they’re learning. If you have any questions, please let us know.

Welcome to the forum!

[mmlee]

I have been listening to FBN Podcasts for a few weeks now and find them extremely interesting...lots of "food for thought"! I don't know if I am a "Free Believer" at the moment but am willing to listen and learn and who knows where that will lead me!!! I am a grandma who has been a Christian for over 50 years and am more excited with Christ than ever and am learning so many "freeing" things and am almost overwhelmed! I have come to see that God has used every "phase" of my Christian life to reveal Himself to me in a fuller way. I began with a more intellectual, formal Bible Study phase (IVCF), moved into the Charismatic phase, then into a time of quiet contemplative-style phase and now am resonating with the whole idea of being a "Free Believer". Some of my family and friends think my journey is unnecessary but I think it is awesome and I am trusting God to lead me forward! Looking forward to meeting new friends on this forum.

[AidaC]

Sorry for the duplicate post...when I tried to send the first post it said I had "too many words" so I tried again but I guess both posts got thru!

Hi, Marion. I went ahead and deleted the duplicate post and left up your original one.

Don’t worry about the label “Free Believer.” There’s no set statement of belief and we don’t all have to believe the same thing. All it means is that you’ve arrived at your beliefs on your own and are open to test those beliefs. We’re accused of being an anti-church group but we’re not. Darin is not opposed to church nor is he opposed to pastors. He has several churches that support his ministry and he has pastor friends who he calls “Free Believers.” Also, a large number of us still attend a local church. Although I’m not as active as I used to be, I still attend a church fairly regularly but now my spiritual life is no longer dependent on a church or a pastor. It’s now dependent on a growing relationship with God.

I don't know if I am a "Free Believer" at the moment but am willing to listen and learn and who knows where that will lead me!!!

That sure sounds like a Free Believer to me. It sounds to me like you’ve had an amazing journey and I love it when believers who have known God for a long time begin to open up to this message of freedom. I’m also a grandma and I resonate with so much of what you’ve said. I believe every part of our journey has been an important part of shaping who we are and I’m thankful for all of it, including my time as a very traditional believer.

I’m so glad you’re here and I hope you will continue to share with us some of the wisdom that you’ve acquired on your journey. If we can help or encourage you in any way, please let us know.

Welcome to the forum.

[mmlee]

THanks for your response Aida. I'm going to enjoy meeting folks on this forum site! Probably will input once I am a little more "at home" here.

[AidaC]

Take your time and just look around. I hope you find the conversations encouraging and please let us know if we can be of any help. We're glad you're here and would love to help you acclimate.

[Jenn Ann]

Hi there. I really don't know what to say. I was a member some time ago but things did not go well. I did not cope and in fact ended up spending quite some time in hospital because of what would be I guess described briefly as a "breakdown". I am pretty scared about rejoining the forum. Also scared about admitting I am scared! (Fear - the old sin which is bred into some of our bones and means we fit in nowhere really). I did enjoy the forums at one time, and am wondering if I am hopeful of good things still or just a glutton for punishment. Sorry if I am saying stuff I shouldn't. I just am who I am and hope to be accepted as such. I probably won't post much (fear again?) but hope to get something out of reading stuff written by you good people.

[SicknTired]

Hello, Jenn Ann (et al),

I also am new here as of tonight, a year or so later than your post. Looks as though no one has been around here, for awhile. I can relate to some of your story, and I hope that you are experiencing/have found some peace. I have really been thru the wringer myself, lately, and frankly, I am lost on here, as there are no recent postings??? I came across an article on here a week ago; had just had an "episode" of spiritual abuse (I think-- anyway, big misunderstanding, and pastor isn't responding to me/seems to be playing control games); went on retreat somewhere else, in which the counselor seemed confused, as well; am between two churches, am a convert from yet another place... yada, yada... I am here because I no longer know what I believe, nor where to go. I am a deeply spiritual person (I think), but I don't know what to do with all the hurt and misunderstandings (there have been several, within a lifetime-- various churches). I keep thinking it must all be my fault, but even if it were (which I doubt), don't you think that the people involved would try to work things out, instead of controlling/shunning/denying/scapegoating me?

Just to confuse things even more, I identify with 3 or 4 different religions (depending upon my state of mind). I don't know whether this means that I'm unstable, or simply curious, open- minded, creative and bright? However, I am also in a Third Order in one of them... which complicates things immensely, as I don't want to abrogate it/discuss my association, until I'm ready.

I am also currently very angry at the response I have received in my most recent church (as well as past events, in other churches).

I still pray for/hope for community somewhere, but I find that either I end up being silent and seething, or else, express myself, and end up causing trouble! Can't seem to find that happy medium! So I am temporarily not going to church, unless a miracle occurs in communication re: the people involved.

I cannot even be more open on here than I already have been, because I fear for my privacy... (am a bit paranoid, these days!)

So, where do currently traumatized people BEGIN on here? The plethora of pages is quite daunting.

I think I could use some one- on-one help, but regular counseling/spiritual direction hasn't helped, that much. Do you have more one- to- one help here, somewhere-- that's relatively private ? Am I in the right spot? Don't want to do blogs, as I don't want my postings appearing on social media...

Thanks.

[AidaC]

I am here because I no longer know what I believe, nor where to go.

Hi SicknTired! We’re all still processing what we believe. I think it’s an ongoing journey to discover truth. When we first enter this journey especially after having been part of a controlling group as you have been, confusion is a normal state. However, as your mind begins to clear, the confusion should lessen.

don't you think that the people involved would try to work things out, instead of controlling/shunning/denying/scapegoating me?

Sadly, that rarely happens in abusive groups. Insecure leadership does all it can do to control and manipulate its members and those who question will be “punished” in order to bring them into submission. Unfortunately, that seems to have been what you’ve experienced. As you’ve discovered, sometimes the best answer is to stop going to church and many of us on this board have taken that route.

I have a blog set up that’s devoted solely to the topic of spiritual abuse. I haven’t kept it up to date but there are some great resources on it that you might find helpful. No need to post a comment there. If you have a question, you can always private message me here. The link to that blog is:
http://no-more-chains.blogspot.com/

This is a closed board so only members can read what’s posted here and we would hope that all members know that in order to protect everyone’s privacy, they are not to share what’s been posted here with non-members. However, just post what you feel comfortable posting.

So, where do currently traumatized people BEGIN on here? The plethora of pages is quite daunting.

This board is divided into 6 forums with different emphases. Although there’s often some overlap, I would suggest that you begin with the “Discussing the Journey” and the “Into the Wild” forums. You would probably find these to be the most helpful at this present time. Don't feel like you have to read everything posted there. Use the title and the initial post to determine if it's something you need to read. If it isn't, it's okay to pass it up and move on to something else.

While we’re not set up to do counseling nor are we qualified, we are willing to encourage you as much as we can. If you want to private message any of us feel free but, if you’d like more in depth counseling, I would suggest that you contact Darin Hufford, the owner of this forum. As a former pastor, he’s counseled many and he would be better qualified to discussion your issues in greater depth. His contact information can be found on the home page of this website.

We’re glad you’re here and hope you’ll find your participation here helpful.

Welcome to the Forum!!!!

[SicknTired]

I am here because I no longer know what I believe, nor where to go.

Hi SicknTired! We’re all still processing what we believe. I think it’s an ongoing journey to discover truth. When we first enter this journey especially after having been part of a controlling group as you have been, confusion is a normal state. However, as your mind begins to clear, the confusion should lessen.

I hope so. Part of me still thinks it's satan ("Confusion is of the devil", etc.)

The funny thing is, this group paints itself as "liberal". Can a liberal church still be controlling? Hard to believe... I keep thinking it's all my fault. Probably someone would tell me it is; not sure who to believe, anymore.

don't you think that the people involved would try to work things out, instead of controlling/shunning/denying/scapegoating me?

Sadly, that rarely happens in abusive groups. Insecure leadership does all it can do to control and manipulate its members and those who question will be “punished” in order to bring them into submission. Unfortunately, that seems to have been what you’ve experienced. As you’ve discovered, sometimes the best answer is to stop going to church and many of us on this board have taken that route.

I have a blog set up that’s devoted solely to the topic of spiritual abuse. I haven’t kept it up to date but there are some great resources on it that you might find helpful. No need to post a comment there. If you have a question, you can always private message me here. The link to that blog is:
http://no-more-chains.blogspot.com/

I already read that. Thanks.

This is a closed board so only members can read what’s posted here and we would hope that all members know that in order to protect everyone’s privacy, they are not to share what’s been posted here with non-members. However, just post what you feel comfortable posting.

So, where do currently traumatized people BEGIN on here? The plethora of pages is quite daunting.

This board is divided into 6 forums with different emphases. Although there’s often some overlap, I would suggest that you begin with the “Discussing the Journey” and the “Into the Wild” forums. You would probably find these to be the most helpful at this present time. Don't feel like you have to read everything posted there. Use the title and the initial post to determine if it's something you need to read. If it isn't, it's okay to pass it up and move on to something else.

While we’re not set up to do counseling nor are we qualified, we are willing to encourage you as much as we can. If you want to private message any of us feel free but, if you’d like more in depth counseling, I would suggest that you contact Darin Hufford, the owner of this forum. As a former pastor, he’s counseled many and he would be better qualified to discussion your issues in greater depth. His contact information can be found on the home page of this website.

We’re glad you’re here and hope you’ll find your participation here helpful.

OK; thanks for your input.

Welcome to the Forum!!!!