This review is by no means complete; there are many great concepts in the book that I believe every reader will appreciate. However, there are a few specific concepts that resonated strongly in a spiritual sense that I will share here.
I feel I need to begin by saying I had previously read only one other good book about introverts, which was “The Introvert Advantage” by Dr. Marti O. Laney. This book was helpful in a practical way; the author gave a good scientific explanation as to how our brains work differently than those of extroverts. She also exposed how we function differently in many life situations and gave a number of suggestions on how to cope in a world monopolized by extroverts.
However, IA did not leave me feeling as empowered; this book’s title was a bit off in my opinion. I finished this book with the feeling that introversion, while a valid difference, is still in all practicality a handicap rather than an advantage. While the IA author does touch on some advantages of being an introvert, I felt she did no more than touch on them. So one of the most damaging issues that many introverts live with was not really addressed: our sense of shame.
Introvert Power does a much better job of living up to its title. Dr. Helgoe’s conversational and thoughtful style is warm and intriguing. I get the feeling that she may be a Christian or at least a very spiritually oriented person. The book has a strong overtone of urging the reader to be proud of the way we are; to celebrate it and revel in it, not just learn to live with it in a world that is often alien to our way of thinking. This is something most of us really need to hear.
One surprising assertion she makes is that contrary to the usual assumptions that we introverts are far outnumbered, we actually make up over half of the population. I still find this hard to believe, but she does a good job of making her case.
Dr. Helgoe makes a number of points in the book where I see strong spiritual parallels. Starting in chapter 1, she begins deconstructing widely held, but false, assumptions about introverts being selfish. She states: “An introvert deep in thought will look self-absorbed, whether he’s thinking about world hunger or working out how to hack into someone’s bank account. An engaging extrovert will look friendly, whether he really cares about your day or is trying to pick your pocket.” (p.5)
The oft-held assumptions that introverts are pathological are attacked as well. Introversion is not an illness; it is not a condition to be fixed but a personality difference that is just not well accepted in our culture. However, introverts are actually more likely to seek therapy because they are not threatened by inner focus. Unfortunately, the very
ability to focus internally is seen not as a tool to help them understand any problems, but the very problem needing a cure.
Dr. Helgoe exposes a number of shortcuts that the world of psychology attempts to make in “finding the shortest path between symptoms and solution.” The inner process which may take a long time is not given value and those who don’t respond to a ‘quick fix’ are thought to be either really disturbed or just not trying hard enough. (Does this remind you of anything?
) One of the things I most appreciated about this book is the exposure of our culture’s attack on people who enjoy spending time alone. She devotes a chapter to this subject called “Alone is not a four letter word.” The author discusses the assumption that we are lacking something when we are alone, when the opposite is true. Time alone is needed to think, imagine, pray, plan, invent – any number of things that require time to delve into the inner workings of the mind and come up with end results that bless other people.
Another interesting spiritual-parallel point the author makes is how “cults gain power by depriving members of time alone.” (p. 19). She also says “Rest assured, any party with an obligatory component has invitees who are wishing they were elsewhere, along with some who have managed to be elsewhere.” (p. 42)
Hmm, this made me think of church services.Dr. Helgoe’s discussion of “time poverty” in chapter 7 is very interesting. Nowhere have I ever found this mentality more prevalent than in IC. We are told that our time here on earth is short, and we are running out fast so we’d better rush, rush, rush to make it all count for God so we’ll get heavenly rewards. We as introverts need time to pull back and think, but “we don’t have time. Or at least that’s what we’re told.” Does all of this remind you of a life we left behind somewhere?
If I had to pick a favorite part of this book, it would be the author’s descriptions of power that introversion really does hold. A concept that she brings up again and again is the “holding power” that we ‘innies’ are so good at – the ability to hold onto an idea, nurture it, care for it, brood over it, and work with it – until it is ready to be “born.” On page 89 she states, “… birthing requires the capacity to hold, to tolerate the growing pressure of what’s inside and to patiently wait until it’s ready. This holding capacity is the hallmark of introversion. And it’s extremely powerful.”
This, to me, is a crucial concept of the free believer journey. The organized church is a reflection of the fast track American culture which favors extroverts. They teach us that our walk on earth is all about what we PRODUCE. It’s about how many Sunday school classes we taught, how many times we played in the worship band or volunteered to pass out bulletins. It’s about how much money we gave, the number of friends we had, the number of people we led to Christ. They will say that it’s the number of these things done in the right spirit, but well, in the end, the number of good deeds we’ve done is really the most important thing. It’s about quantity.
On page 88, the author tells of being questioned about how she gets enough material to fill a book. She replies, “I’ve been writing this all of my life.” As she also says, we may be seen as not contributing because we are quiet, we don’t participate, we don’t join in. But it’s because we are busy working out in our minds, something that all the ‘contributors’ missed while they were so – well, busy being busy.
This book deserves a read, a re-read, and probably some more pondering after that. I believe Father wants us introverts to stop caving to pressure to get with the program and produce on someone else’s timetable. Since reading this book, I have pondered on the lives of people in the Bible. Moses spent decades alone with sheep most of the day before taking the journey to the Promised Land. Paul of Tarsus spent years alone, mostly imprisoned, while writing most of the New Testament. And Jesus’ life looked very ordinary and perhaps not particularly productive for many years while he abided in his Father and waited for his time to do the most important thing he would be remembered for through all of time.
In Darin’s blog titled “Into the Wild” he discusses the nervousness of new free believers wondering how to “walk out” the free believer walk. I think it’s because we’ve all been programmed to do things the American church way, which sprang out of a society that favors extroverts’ strong ‘action’ orientation. We think we can’t just BE and let things take care of themselves; we have to make sure we ‘produce.’ Introverts find that trying to produce for the sake of production, to birth anything before it’s time, and to keep up with the frenzy for the sake of impressing someone else, even God, highly unnatural. What we’re best at is just being. We’ve been told that’s wrong. But as Darin pointed out, bears don’t think about how to be bears. They just go with how God made them.
I will end with a quote from Darin’s blog: “Settling in and trusting what you are is what it’s all about. This is the first step to discovering the voice of your heart and being in tune to your spirit’s cry and purpose.”
Very different!
