Understanding the emotional effects of trauma

[AidaC]

I read a very informative article about understanding the emotional effects of trauma. The hurt and struggles can last for years after the trauma has passed and I feel the author has a very good understanding of the depth of emotional damage that trauma causes. I think this article would be encouraging for those who are struggling with the effect of trauma as well for those who are seeking to understand their struggles.

http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new-no ... out-trauma

[Bull of the Woods]

I have a couple questions. Which I honestly have no pat answers for already.

Can we, or how would we,prepare ourselves to face trauma? Is there anything we can do to be more ready to cope when it hits us?

A similar question...

Can we, or how can we prepare ourselves to be a real friend and help to those who have found themselves face to face with a traumatizing life experience?

[AidaC]

Jeff, those are good questions and I sure don't have the answers but I think it's good to take time to think them through.

I have a couple questions. Which I honestly have no pat answers for already.

Can we, or how would we,prepare ourselves to face trauma? Is there anything we can do to be more ready to cope when it hits us?

I don't know if we can ever totally be prepared for trauma because, if it comes, we have no idea what form it will take. However, I personally feel it's important to have our faith grounded in God because trauma will challenge that faith. Understanding that it isn't necessarily due to something we've done would at least alleviate feelings of guilt. Trauma is just part of the fallen world that we live in and sometimes it just happens.

A similar question...

Can we, or how can we prepare ourselves to be a real friend and help to those who have found themselves face to face with a traumatizing life experience?

I've had an opportunity to live this out because of Darin's health problems. It's been very difficult watching him struggle and feeling very helpless at times but all I could do was let him and Angie know that I cared and was willing to listen. Others were able to give more hands on assistance such as helping with meals as well as with the children.

People who have been through trauma need to process their feelings and I think it's important to listen and to allow them to freely process those emotions. The author said to err on the side of presence and I think that's good advice. Although it's their journey and they have to travel it alone, we can provide some encouragement just by being there and letting them know we care.

[dward]

I strongly disagree with the idea that trauma is permanent. It can be, if you want it to be(In which case, the biopathic diseases you get from that is on your own head!). I have had great success with Orgone therapy, and later NeoRechian techniques like the Radix institute's stuff.

I would recommend three books:

The function of the orgasm: Sex-economic problems of Biological Energy(the discovery of the orgone vol 1)

The Cancer Biopathy

and

People in Trouble(the emotional plague of mankind)

All by Wilhelm Reich

The Radix institute(a 3rd generation Reichian psychosomatic therapy) in the 1970s and 80s discovered the connection between emotional armouring(and its physical manifestations) in man and the application of will in our organisms; how human will is active in response to traumas. This is in effect the "emotional memory" of the body.

[AidaC]

I strongly disagree with the idea that trauma is permanent. It can be, if you want it to be(In which case, the biopathic diseases you get from that is on your own head!).

I totally agree. Life is filled with choices and we can choose to remain bogged down by trauma or we can slowly begin the process to wholeness. The choice is ours. I'm reading a book entitled "The Rules of Life" by Richard Templar. In it, he shares about his life as a child. Here's a quote from his book which I think is very meaningful.

He wrote, "On paper I had a seriously dysfunctional childhood and for a while was resentful. I blamed my bizarre upbringing for all that was weak or dispirited or badly formed in me. It's so easy to do. But once I accepted that what was done was done, and that I could choose to forgive and get on with my life, things improved enormously. Not all of my siblings chose the same route, and they carried on building up the resentment until it overwhelmed them.

For me it was essential, if I wanted more out of my life, to embrace all the bad things as being an important part of me and to move on. In fact, I wanted them to fuel me into my future, to become positive to such an extent that I couldn't imagine being me without them. Now, if given the choice, I wouldn't change a thing. Yes, looking back, it was tough being the kid I was, living the life I did, but it has certainly helped make me, me."

I've heard Darin say the same thing about his traumatic childhood and it has certainly fueled him to become the man he is today. I think this is a healthy way to look at the traumatic events in our lives but I don't think we can necessarily get there right away. It does take some time to work through the issues and sometimes an understanding friend can be a great help in the process.

[Mark]

In my experience, the traumas that we are conscious of or remember the most aren't the ones that always mess with us in a lasting or permanent way. Typically, if we have them, we identify and blame these traumas for our quirks, hangups and failures, but rarely do we get through life without having that challenged. Often we do try to dis-identify and move beyond them. The victim of abuse might go to counselling, find a healthy relationship, adopt new empowering behaviour. But one thing I have discovered recently through my own sort of breakdown and jungian-style analysis, is that our "shadows" or unconscious are a repository for all kinds of things we rejected, disassociated from, experiences that changed our perception of certain things, things we have compartmentalized and only partially remember. For example it came to light recently how a certain experience of watching my parents get swindled out of their life savings, which they mostly sheltered me from, suddenly changed the way I perceived myself and my direction in life. I was an artist since early childhood and was pursuing it as a vocation, but when this occurred it hit me that as a bohemian "starving artist" I would never be able to step in and help my parents out if a situation like that ever happened again. I consequently abandoned art and have been adrift ever since - for like the last 25 years. I have built up and lost everything - entire careers, homes, relationships and identities, like 5 times now. And it happened again recently. Now, I was certainly aware of that experience, but I never registered it as a "trauma" per se, and as such, never seriously questioned my decision, which I was really too young to make from a wise and informed perspective. In fact that mentality of suppressing my passions and instincts in favour of "doing the right thing" stayed with me right up until last fall. My entire adulthood has been a kind of blur where I was detached from my true self. In many ways it's too late to do much about it. Conversely, the things I thought were the "traumas" of my life (some of them textbook - abuse, abandonment, major injury, humiliation etc) I genuinely learned and gained wisdom from.
Strange thing, trauma.

[thediscipleshipcoach]

Hi, I'm new to the forum.
My name is Jaemin Frazer. I've been a pastor for 10 years and have run my own life coaching company for 4 years.
We recently did some trauma specific training to help us coach returned service men and women in the Australian army.

I agree that trauma is not permanent.
Trauma is the result of rapport being broken with self.
We have a conscious mind (responsible for cognitive decision making) and a subconscious mind (responsible for auto responses and bodily function etc)
When a person faces a potentially traumatic situation, the natural response from the subconscious is to seek to avoid it and remove yourself from the potential danger, yet if the conscious mind decides to proceed because of work responsibility then the person faces the situation head on.
If this happens regularly without the proper debriefing process, then the subconscious begins to override the decision making process because it says "I don't trust you to make decisions anymore. You take us into dangerous situations too often and it is not OK" The subconscious then manifests chronic fatigue, or massive anxiety or PTSD etc so that the person is incapacitated and remains safe because they can no longer function in the real but dangerous world.
The symptoms of trauma leave when rapport is rebuilt between the conscious and subconscious and the person learns to listen and trust themselves.

[Mark]

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[ianstephenson]

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[AidaC]

Hi Jaemin. Thanks for sharing from your experience. You’ve given us some great information which I'm sure will be helpful in understanding the effects of trauma. It’s never easy to work through but understanding is always the first step in recovery.

Welcome to the forum!