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Jan 24, 2017

The Fatherless Phenomenon

Darin and Hans talk about why it’s so easy to feel hopeless when attempting to explain the grace and love message to this generation. Darin draws a graphic picture of what happens to an entire generation of people who are raised not being the center of their Fathers universe. The two decide that we are a generation of spiritual orphans who are in desparate need of healing. 

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    The bible is responsible for a lot of dad god beliefs. Where does "He is a jealous god" etc come from? A lot of teaching about suffering is from the point of view of dad god. It makes god out to be an abusive father. Same with prayer. For many years I believed God abandoned me as an eight year old when my father died and left us six children with an abusive mother. I believe now it was not suffering to teach me something, to make me strong, to test me, to make me trust God more (a stance that is ridiculous - you don't make people trust you by hurting them.) I believe now that God had no great plan in the circumstances I and my siblings found ourselves in but that he weeps with us and one day as He wipes my tears away will say He is sorry that He couldn't always intervene in how the world goes for reasons He will explain (or maybe I won't need an explanation then.) Sometimes people get excited about the crumbs because God never saw fit to give them bread.

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    I have thought for a while about your assertions about the parents of molested children usually being to blame. It disturbs me because you don't quote any research to back this up (Your personal observations don't cut it to prove such an outrageous claim). Your rider that there are exceptions is a cop-out so when challenged by someone hurt by your assertions you don't have to take responsibility for the pain you cause.

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    I pressed submit by accident before I was finished. I suspect you have already dismissed any reactions to these statements. I never had a child who molested by the way,but I have had other problems in my family and have been devastated by judgementalism when my heart was breaking and I needed support and encouragement instead of judgement and isolation. I hope that one day you don't learn understanding of these things the hard way. It would be good if you could apologise to those you have hurt.

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    Me again. I wonder if you are in "blame the oarent" mode because you are really afraid. You maybe you calm your fears by believing nothing can go drastically wrong with your kids because they have such good parents. As I said I hope you don't learn the hard way. I mean that.

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    Sorry about the typos. I must admit I was somewhat emotional writing what I did. I meant "never had a child who was molested" and "parent" (not oarent) .

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    Here is a link to a PDF replete with statistics on child sexual abuse: Many of the statements referenced by Darren seem to be backed up by the information in the document.

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    I still think the 99.9% is over estimated significantly. Sure some struggling families may have children who are more vulnerable but sexual abuse of children is solely the fault of the perpetrators not the child or families who are deceived into trusting them. The article even discusses how perpetrators work their way into a position of trust. A lot of other claims about child abuse in the article seem rather inflammatory (eg the assertion about race) . I have not checked the references but statistics can be warped by the sample taken, lack of objectivity, discarding those from the study who don't back up preconceived beliefs, and faulty research procedures. I guess I just want compassion for those victims and their families who are trying to deal with such devastating situations. They often engage in all the self blame needed without help from outside.

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